Most common nicknames 26,000,000 men use for their penis

Wang, Johnson, Willy, Weiner, and so many other names come to mind for how men like to refer to their penises, but apparently, there’s one that is the most common for 26 million of them.

Nicknaming body parts is nothing new, with women often calling their breasts, bottoms, and vaginas names too.

Like boobs, jubblies, balloons or melons for breasts, and fairy, nunnie, fufu, or cat for a vagina.

Bottoms don’t get too much variety, with peach, ass, cake, and so on being named, but penises seem to have a lot of possibilities.

However, there can only be one winner, and The Urology Foundation has revealed what it is.

Its study which took into account men from the UK, revealed that men in the Northwest part of England were more likely to name their penises (86 per cent), as well as those from London, and the East and West Midlands.

Men have a name for their penis (Getty Stock Images)

The poll was conducted as part of its March 2026 #NameIt campaign, which aims to bring more awareness to penile cancer.

While the above names may seem like the most commonly heard names for a penis, it turns out that it’s not quite what the men in the poll had in mind.

Instead, 26,000,000 men call their penis John Thomas, then Mopey Dick (an ode to the Herman Melville whale classic), Sur Cumference (mathematics), Widgey McWidge Face, things like The Soldier, The Boss, The General, The Captain, and other similar names were also favorites.

Then there are then men who prefer to call their willies some sort of tool name, like The Engine or The Rocket, and for a bit of magic: The Wand.

Little Man, Pinky Winky (the twin brother of Teletubby Tinky Winky), Little Buddy, and Mr Happy were all named in the poll.

There was also Girth Vader, which is my personal favorite. Or Long Dong Silver.

They seem to like the name John Thomas (Getty Stock Images)

As for why men get the urge to name their member...

“Names are very important,” said Paula Hall, a sexual and relationship psychotherapist, sex addiction therapist and co-founder of the Laurel Centre.

She said to Numan that it comes down to how they feel about themselves, and more, adding: “Names affect not just how we feel about someone or something but also how we treat them, so the nickname you have for your penis could be very significant. It could be the difference between care and respect, or dismissal and indifference.”

Psychosexual therapist, Mike Lousada also added that it shows how what relationship the men have with their penis, telling the outlet: “The language you use around your genitalia is very important because it shows a lot about the relationship you have with it. Talking about Mr Winky sounds like something a boy would say, so can make it seem like you don’t have an adult relationship with that part of your body.”

That’s a lot of the above names out of the running, then.

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