Divorce expert claims men are 'weaponizing pooping' with sneaky bathroom move

A divorce expert may have cracked the code on what men are doing in the bathroom for so long.

And no, it's not to stink it up. In fact, she believes it's to avoid whatever responsibilities are waiting outside the door.

In a Substack essay titled 'We Need to Talk About Weaponizing Pooping' author Olivia Howell penned: "Weaponized pooping, whether intentional or unintentional, has been happening in homes since the beginning of time."

But what does it mean to weaponize poop? Although you may not have heard the term, you've probably done it at least once or twice in your life.

In this case, 'weaponizing pooping' means using the bathroom to escape domestic responsibilities or family duties.

“A husband walks through the door as an active member of a family unit, shuts it behind him, and immediately becomes a private citizen,” the author said.

The Substack author says 'I have to use the bathroom' is one of the most powerful sentences for those who live with others (Getty Stock)

Explaining the science behind why she believes males use the bathroom as a room to escape, she theorizes that 'a basement husband can theoretically be told to come upstairs, a workout can be postponed and headphones can be removed.'

However, a person can't really be dragged off a toilet...

"The bathroom is different because you cannot reasonably deny another human behind access to the toilet," Howell wrote. "‘I have to go to the bathroom’ is one of the most powerful sentences available to a person who lives with other people."

On what they're doing in there, well it differs from person to person. Some could be watching YouTube videos, others could be scrolling Reddit, the author says.

Smartphones provide many more options on things to do to pass the time than there was centuries, or even decades ago.

Giving some of them the benefit of the doubt though, Howell writes: "Or maybe, just maybe, he’s experiencing an intestinal crisis."

Nevertheless, she calls the bathroom 'domestic escape hatch' which comes with 'unlimited plausible deniability.'

"While he is in there, the family keeps happening," she wrote.

Giving an average time of 37 minutes, Howell noted that 'we rarely talk about what everyone else is doing during those thirty-seven minutes.'

'While he is in there, the family keeps happening,' Howell penned (Getty Stock)

"Breakfast is still being made. Water bottles are being filled. Someone cannot find a shoe. Someone else has remembered, twelve minutes before the bus, that today is Crazy Hair Day," she continued.

"None of that labor disappears because one parent has to go potty."

However, many men weren't happy with the essay, with one writing on X, formerly known as Twitter: "Maybe they just want a moments peace?"

Another wrote: "The only place we’re not judged for being on our phones."

Of course, every family, and body, differs. Some could genuinely be needing to use the bathroom for long periods of time, whereas others could be 'weaponizing their poop.'

Whatever the case, how often should you be pooping a day?

Well, one expert has the answer.

“Three times a day to three times a week is the broad normal range, but one to two solid poops per day seems tied to the healthiest gut microbiome and the fewest toxins in your blood,” Malibu gastroenterologist Dr. Sabine Hazan told the New York Post.

However, digestive health expert Dr. Jason Korenblit said consistency matters more than sticking to an exact number.

Whether it's worth keeping tabs on your partner's bathroom habits is down to you...