Britt Jones
Ben Stiller’s kids have opened up about what it was like having him as a father when they were young in gut-wrenching comments.
The actor who is best known for his roles in films like Zoolander, Tropic Thunder, and Along Came Polly, made a rare admission on his family after releasing a documentary as an ode to his parents.
The documentary produced by Apple on his father, Jerry Stiller, and mother Anne Meara, premiered at the New York Film Festival on Sunday (October 5).
Titled Stiller & Meara: Nothing is Lost, the doc looks into Stiller’s parents’ best moments on screen, as well as his own relationship with his wife and kids.
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In the film, Stiller revealed he felt ‘disconnected’ from his family, explaining: “My career had been going along for a long time, but things actually weren't great in my personal life.
“I just felt out of balance and unhappy and kind of disconnected from my family, from my kids, and just kind of a little bit lost.”
The 59-year-old actor shared that as a child of showbusiness parents, he was trying to make his children’s childhood better than his own.
However, his children have spoken out about what that was like.
The son of two comedians, Stiller listed himself as a 'perfectionist', and this led to him cutting out his daughter’s role in one of his films.
Stiller dubbed this the 'worst decision' he's ever made in his life.
"For me, it kind of goes deeper. What it relates to is my own issues with my own obsession with my work, or 'perfectionism',” he said.
While his daughter was fine with it, she did have some qualms about his parenting.
“The irony is, I thought I was doing so much better than my parents. I thought I was pulling it off,” Stiller admitted.
“I was flying home on the weekends and having special places for the kids to play when they come visit the set, but in reality – and just hearing them talk about it – for them, it was the same thing I was going through as a kid, and I just couldn’t see that at all at the time.”
Ella Olivia Stiller, 23, and son Quinlin Dempsey Stiller, 20, revealed their relationship with their dad was strained when they were kids.
Ella candidly told her dad that she ‘literally can’t ever remember you being around when I was growing up'.
Quinlin admitted he felt he 'came last' for his dad, sharing: “After a tough day, or if something was going wrong, you can kind of get into your own head and when you get into that place, it’s hard to get you out of it. So that would kind of put a damper on the fun part of being on vacation.”
He added: “You have all these hats that you’re trying to balance, you know? Being a director, an actor, a producer, a writer. But also just, like, a father. And sometimes, I felt that would come last to these other things.”
Sadly, Stiller revealed how he tried to differ from his parents, but failed.
He told the Sunday Times: “Like any parent, I remember things that weren’t happy about my childhood and go, ‘I’ll do better.’
“And then I realized it was impossible to avoid making the mistakes [my parents] made. I feel like I have a really great relationship with my kids, but it’s complicated and has at times been strained.”
He explained: “When they were young, I did not get it. I thought, ‘Oh, the kids are young, I can work away and be a good dad earning for the family.’ But the bonds you form with your kids when they’re young are so important.”