Featured Image Credit: LADbible Stories/YouTube
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Joe Yates
A 44-year-old virgin has opened up about the deeply personal and heartbreaking reason he has never had sex, revealing that it’s not down to awkwardness, strange habits, or a lack of opportunity.
Stephen Kinnard explained that, despite what many people might assume, his virginity isn’t the result of being antisocial or isolated. In fact, he considers himself to be fairly ordinary, with a solid social life and plenty of friends around him.
When asked the blunt question, 'Why are you a virgin?', he quipped: "Well, probably because I haven't slept with anybody yet."
However, he quickly acknowledged that the answer isn’t quite that simple, adding that there’s 'a big question mark' over why things have worked out this way for him.
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He went on to explain: “I'm not socially awkward. I don't really have any funny habits that would be classed as weird. I'm sociable, and I've got a wide range of friends.
From the outside looking in, his life doesn’t match the stereotype people often attach to older virgins, but while he describes himself as 'very normal', he admits there’s one thing that has consistently held him back.
"I would consider myself very normal but very shy, and especially shy when I talk to women," he added, highlighting how that shyness has played a major role throughout his adult life.
Kinnard also addressed the common attitude he’s encountered over the years from others who struggle to understand why he hasn’t simply 'got it over with' - and according to him, many people downplay the significance of sex entirely.
"I hear a lot of people say things such as, ‘Oh, it's only sex. Just go and do it. Sex is not important'," he went on.
But for him, sex has never felt like something casual or meaningless.
He continued: "But to me, somehow it's always been important and a very private thing between two people, and something that I've always wanted to be special.”
That belief, combined with his shyness, has meant he’s never felt able to rush into something purely for the sake of experience.
Stephen hopes by speaking publicly about still being a virgin at the age of 44 that he can help reassure others, noting in the past he's felt 'very sad' and on his 'own'.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also reach Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.
You can also call 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 at the SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline.