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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life
Kit Roberts
A relationship expert has explained why January is a particularly perilous time of year for breakups.
Of course, a relationship can end at any time of the year, but January seems to be a time that just makes people want to go their separate ways.
January is not the easiest month, if we're being honest.
It's cold, it's dark, it's long, and there's no longer the warmth and festive spirit of Christmas and New Year to help get us through the winter evenings.
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And let's face it, returning to work after Christmas with a big pile of tasks that you left for yourself to pick up after the holidays is no fun either.
But Bethany Burgoyne, Sex and Relationships Expert at Vivastreet, has opened up about another big factor in January which can also put a strain on couples at this time of year.
This is money, which is often a sticking point in a relationship, but with all the other factors in play during the first month of the year, it can push people over the edge.
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"January is the perfect storm for relationship stress and, unfortunately, money often becomes a tipping point for rocking the boat," Burgoyne said.
"Coming out of the holiday period can leave us emotionally and financially depleted - there’s the winter blues, post-Christmas guilt, overspending hangovers and often a sense of ‘Oh God, I don't want to look at my bank account!’"
She added: "With all these tricky feelings building up around finance (plus a healthy dose of seasonal depression), we can unconsciously displace that tension onto the person closest to us, and very often that’s our partner."
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So there you go, all that tension is unfortunately pushed onto your partner.
The expert added: "Money is especially triggering because it taps into our deepest fears about safety, worth and control.
"When one partner is more relaxed about spending and the other is more security-driven, it can start to feel like you’re not just disagreeing but you’re fundamentally incompatible.
"Over time that creates resentment, emotional withdrawal and a sense of ‘we’re not on the same page anymore,’ which is why so many couples reach breaking point in January."
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As well as recommending a 'monthly money check-in', Burgoyne urged: "Remember that your worth is not your bank balance, even though it can feel that way when money is tight. When couples approach finances with curiosity rather than criticism, they move from being opponents to being teammates.
"That shift alone can save relationships that feel like they’re on the brink."