Expert reveals the one sign that means your relationship won’t last
Topics: Sex and Relationships, YouTube, Community, Podcast
Gerrard Kaonga
Featured Image Credit: The Diary Of A CEO/YouTube
Topics: Sex and Relationships, YouTube, Community, Podcast
A communication expert has revealed one of the clear signs that a relationship won’t work regardless of how good things appear in the moment.
Getting a relationship off the ground and on the right tracks can prove pretty difficult sometimes as people... well they can be multifaceted and complicated.
While you might think you have found ‘the one’ and things might appear great now, trial lawyer and leading communication expert Jefferson Fisher has revealed what every relationship needs to work long term.
Speaking on the Diary of a CEO podcast with businessman Steven Bartlett, he revealed his thoughts on finding that sweet spot in a relationship.
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Bartlett started by dismissing one idea around relationships that many people have when they get into their first long term one or when they are relatively young.
He noted that many people believe that a sign of a good relationship is that you never argue or have conflict, a stance he disagrees with.
He stated: “I think over time you start to figure that its not the amount of conflict, it is how one manages the conflict.
“I read a quote which I've never forgotten which said you can predict the long-term health of a relationship by whether each cut heals to 101% or 99%. I.e. does your conflict make you stronger?"
Fisher emphasized these points and insisted that for a good healthy and lengthy relationship, you want conflict for growth.
He added that it is rare to have individual growth alone and added it has to be ‘relational’ and tied to other people.
He explained: “I can read a book on how to do things but until I do it, it is a totally different game.
“There is no other way around it you have to have the conflict if you want to be better.”
As well as this, Fisher noted it is important to not only have these conflicts but still to communicate and focus on repair after the fact.
He added: “I’ve seen so many times where people have their face in their hands, they don’t know how to talk to one another because they gave up on trying to repair but they’re all on trying to blame.
“So when you are tying to kind of undo what has to be done that makes it all the more difficult because its just so many years where they could have been repair but there hasn’t been and in turn that hurts the relationship.”