Akon reveals strict rules his multiple wives have to follow in polyamorous relationship
Topics: Music, Sex and Relationships, Rap
Thomas Bamford
Featured Image Credit: Arun Nevader/Getty Images for Art Hearts Fashion
Topics: Music, Sex and Relationships, Rap
Akon has broken his silence on his polyamorous lifestyle, and while he's stopped short of revealing exactly how many wives he has, he's been surprisingly candid about how the whole thing works.
The singer, best known for hits like Lonely and Smack That, has largely kept quiet about his personal life over the years. But now the 53-year-old has spoken openly about the strict rules and clear hierarchy that keep his relationship dynamic from falling apart.
Speaking to The We Need To Talk podcast, Akon said when asked exactly how many wives he has, his answer was simple: "I'll just leave that to your imagination."
What he was less coy about was the structure of the relationship. There is a clear hierarchy, and at the top of it sits wife number one. Nobody is allowed to disrespect her, full stop.
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"That one is the reason you even got one, two or three. She's the queen," he explained.
"Nobody violates wife No. 1. The moment they violate, [they are] out the door."
He also made clear that while he has multiple partners, the same doesn't apply to them. He is the "only man" in the dynamic, and his wives are not permitted to see other people.
Perhaps surprisingly, Akon argues that the arrangement actually benefits his wives more than it does him.
"Oftentimes when the family is united in that way, the benefit is more for the woman than it is for the man," he said, "because the man actually has to take care of all of them. He has to treat them all equally and their responsibility bears on him as well."
He also acknowledged that his first wife carries a particular burden when new people enter the picture. "With new people [joining] your family, there's going to be new attitudes, new mindsets, new behaviors, and [the first wife has] to deal with that."
According to Akon, the whole thing only holds together because of one thing: honest communication.
"You got to be mature enough to know that if this is the situation that I'm going to park in, I have to communicate," he said. "This I like, this I don't like. This I'm for, this I'm not for, and once y'all lay down those rules, just abide by them. It's literally that simple."
The comments come after Akon's wife Tomeka Thiam filed for divorce in September following nearly three decades of marriage. He did not clarify whether Tomeka remains his wife number one in the current dynamic.
For the uninitiated, a polyamorous relationship is one in which a person has multiple romantic or intimate partners at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It differs from cheating in that all parties are aware of the arrangement, and it differs from an open relationship in that the connections are typically emotional as well as physical.
Polyamory can take many different forms, some partners all know each other, others don't, and the rules vary entirely depending on what those involved agree to.