Sex expert reveals surprising activity that could boost intimacy for couples

A sex expert has revealed an unexpected activity that could strengthen couples' bonds in the bedroom.

It's pretty normal for intimacy to ebb and flow in relationships, with life throwing curveballs like physical health problems, stress at work, or even just the daily grind. Big life changes - like moving house, becoming parents, or adjusting to new routines - can also shift the dynamic between partners.

What's more important is recognizing these changes and finding ways to reconnect, which can be both fun and creative.

Now, a sex expert has made a suggestion that not only helps boost intimacy, but can also reduce performance anxiety.

When done correctly, it can help encourage better communication and increase satisfaction between the sheets.

So, what is this mysterious practice we can all get in on?

Intimacy might ebb and flow for a variety of reasons (Manu Vega/Getty Images)

Well, it's actually watching adult content together, according to sexpert and CEO of intimacy brand Dragon Toys, Emily Conway.

Pornography is a polarizing subject; it can set unrealistic beauty standards and expectations, promote unhealthy practices and sometimes create pressure or comparison that undermines real intimacy. Not to mention, some people consider watching it as cheating.

However, Emily highlighted: “There's a common misconception that all porn damages relationships, but that's simply not true when it's approached with intention.

“The difference lies in whether you're watching content that celebrates mutual pleasure and realistic intimacy, or content that prioritises performance over connection.”

The 'best' adult videos for couples to watch together

Watching the 'right' adult content together can reduce performance anxiety (M-Production/Getty Images)

Not all porn serves the same purpose. While some categories are designed purely for visual stimulation without context, others prioritize connection, storytelling and mutual pleasure.

There are four categories of adult videos Emily recommends couples trying.

The first is couples porn - of course.

“Couples porn shows sex as a shared experience rather than a one-sided performance,” Emily explained. “It can help partners see intimacy as something collaborative, which often translates into better communication in their own bedroom.”

Others include story-driven content - which often includes more foreplay, verbal communication and a build-up that mirrors real-life intimacy - and amateur content, which is naturally more realistic, making it more relatable for everyday couples.

“This type of content can help reduce performance anxiety by showing that real sex isn't always perfect, polished, or acrobatic,” Emily added.

The final category, for those looking to explore kinks or fantasies, is fetish and roleplay content. This only works when it's mutually chosen, however.

“Fetish content can be incredibly bonding when it reflects something you're both curious about,” Emily said. “It gives you a shared visual reference point and makes it easier to discuss boundaries and desires without judgment.”

The psychological benefits of watching together

The activity can bring couples closer together (LWA/Getty Images)

Watching porn as a couple can have genuine psychological benefits when approached with openness and communication, Emily says.

“Watching together creates a safe space to talk about what turns you on without the fear of being judged,” she explained.

“I've spoken to countless couples who've told me that watching the right kind of porn together has helped them overcome awkwardness around discussing what they actually want in bed. It's given them permission to be more adventurous and honest with each other.”

For people who experience performance anxiety, watching porn before sex can apparently help shift focus away from pressure and towards pleasure.

A study in Sexual Medicine found that viewing erotic content with a partner can increase arousal and reduce stress, particularly when the content aligns with both partners' comfort levels.

Emily concluded: “If the porn you're watching leaves you feeling inadequate or anxious, it's not the right content for you. The goal should be arousal and connection, not comparison.

“The important thing is to treat it as a conversation starter, not a rulebook. Your intimacy should always be shaped by what feels right for both of you, not by what you've seen someone else do on screen.”