Expert reveals how couples ‘riding the escalator’ could be ruining their sex lives

An expert has revealed the problems that 'riding the escalator' can cause in a couple's sex life.

To be clear, no, we're not talking about a literal escalator here; this escalator is metaphorical.

So what exactly does it mean?

Well, when you get on an escalator, you only have one goal - to reach the top.

And on your way up, you're not really paying much attention to your surroundings or how the escalator works, you're just zoning out as it carries you to the top.

Then once you're at the top, you hop off and carry on with your day.

It's this zoning out and focusing only on the destination which has given rise to 'riding the escalator' as a metaphor for some kinds of sex - and it's not the kind that leaves you collapsed in a satisfied, sweaty heap afterwards.

We're not talking truly awful sex here, just, average and boring (Guillermo Spelucin/Getty Stock)

This is sex which is sort of non-committal.

No one involved is really paying much attention to it, they're both just sort of waiting to get to the destination and then hopping off.

Hannah Johnson is a sex and intimacy coach who is known as the 'Libido Fairy' on social media, and she shared exactly why this isn't a great sign.

"The escalator prioritises penetration and completion of a script over genuine connection and creativity in the bedroom," she said.

"It’s typically more problematic for women than men for several reasons."

This cycle starts with kissing, then heavy petting, oral, and finally coitus before it finishes with an orgasm - yes, orgasm singular.

"You start at the bottom of the escalator and feel like you’re supposed to ride it all the way to the top every time, whether you’re fully present, turned on, or not," she said.

This approach can chip away at a couple's sex life (Guillermo Spelucin/Getty)

Hannah pointed out that this model of sex views penetration as the 'main event' in sex.

Not as much emphasis or importance is given to things like oral, using your hands, or toys, and these are often the parts of sex which tend to be more stimulating if you have a vagina.

Viewing coitus as the 'main event' also ultimately leads to the other parts of sex becoming neglected as they're just viewed as a 'support act'.

If you think about it, even calling those things 'foreplay' kind of implies that they're secondary, instead of being sex in their own right.

Hannah said: "Desire is motivated by how much satisfaction comes from an experience and how much you’re predicting the next one will create.

"Eventually, the body learns: this isn’t that pleasurable for me, so it stops getting excited in the first place."

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