Following Nikki Glaser’s candid revelation that she ‘kind of likes’ the idea of her partner having sex with other women, a sex and relationships expert has analysed this fetish, explaining why the relatively new ‘hothusbanding’ kink is gaining popularity.
Last year, Glaser appeared on The Goop Podcast with Gwyneth Paltrow, addressing her relationship with TV producer Chris Convy, with whom she has been together on-again, off-again since 2013.
“I guess I’m just confident in like, I’m a pretty good person to date. When it comes to my relationship, I just don’t have jealousy over him getting close to other women,” the comedian said on the podcast.
She previously revealed during a chat with Graham Bensinger in 2022 that she liked the idea of her boyfriend at least ‘entertaining the idea of being with other women’.
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And she has since made her feelings clearer during an interview with Alex Cooper on her Call Her Daddy podcast earlier this week.
“In a relationship, I don't really care if my boyfriend were to hook up,” the Golden Globes host explained. “But that is not a two-way street. I'm not someone who likes to hook up when I'm in a relationship.
"I don't really care about that. But I don't care if someone else were to. In fact, I kind of like it.”
She explained that she sees talking about past experiences and ex-partners as ‘foreplay’, confessing: “It would make me horny to think about him doing that with other girls.
"So, I'd ask about all of his girlfriends or anyone he had hooked up with, all the details about it, and it would really be like a foreplay for me. I would get revved up talking about it.”
After Glaser’s honest confessions, Lovehoney's Annabelle Knight has dug deeper into the ‘hot husband’ fetish.
“A 'hot husband' fetish, or 'hothusbanding', is a relatively new term that is the counterpart to ‘hotwife’,” Knight explained.
“This fetish is essentially the sexual gratification of your (in this case, male) partner having consensual sex with other people. 'Hothusbandig' would refer to the act of the husband (or male partner) having consensual sex with other people, while 'hot husband fetish' would refer specifically to the feelings it evokes in the partner of the 'hot husband’."
As to why some enjoy knowing their partner is sleeping with other people, Knight said: “Part of the enjoyment of letting their husband sleep with other men could come from a feeling of 'erotic surrender', and a voluntary submissiveness that plays into domination fantasies.”
“Another reason could be the 'possessive' or 'prize' element - essentially gaining gratification from the sexual appeal that others have in your husband or chosen partner, where ultimately, he comes back to you in the end.”
Knight also said that there are ‘elements of voyeurism, taboo, and even humiliation that are common in cuckolding (or cuckqueaning) partnerships’ that play into the ‘hothusbanding’.
After Glaser’s comments, the fetish has become a talking point, though Knight believes it still isn’t overly common.
“Ethical nonmonogamy is certainly becoming more popular and present in society, but it is still not near the most common form of relationship, so therefore we can say that the fetish itself is not overly common,” she said.
“There may be elements of the 'hot husband' fetish that are more common, without the physical element of having sex with others; for example, a partner might take pride or feel some form of reward in their husband or male partner being coveted by others, which you could argue is a form of this fetish.”
Knight also touched upon ethical nonmonogamy and how it’s becoming more common, though she said ‘it still isn't the norm and is often misunderstood by people who are unable to grasp it’.
She added: “Ultimately, though, if you are confident and secure in an open relationship, then they are every bit as valid as a 'typical' nuclear relationship.”
The sex expert finally offered advice to those who would wish to explore this fetish within their relationship.
“The common theme in any fetish concerns boundaries, consent, and communication. Any action partaken by either the ‘hothusband’ or the ‘cuckquean’ should be communicated ahead of time, be consensual, and be within boundaries that you have set,” Knight said.
“It might be that you are happy for your husband or male partner to have sex with anyone they want, or it might be that you have to sign off on it - there is no wrong or right way to go about it, but as long as you stay within the boundaries you have set for yourself, you can't go too far wrong.
“If either partner wants it to stop at any time, then you should respect that, as consent can always be withdrawn.”