Featured Image Credit: Rockingham County Sheriff's Office
Topics: Mental Health, North Carolina
William Morgan
Topics: Mental Health, North Carolina
A woman who was abandoned by her mother when she was just 14 has shared whether she can forgive her for walking out the door and disappearing without a trace, after finding out that she was still alive 24 years later.
Not only did Amanda find out that her missing mom Michele Hundley Smith was still alive in recent weeks, after fearing the worst for over two decades, she found out that she was still living in the same state as her, North Carolina.
Michele had walked out the door of her Stoneville home on the evening of December 9, 2001, after kissing her children goodnight and telling them she was going to do some late-night Christmas shopping in nearby Martinsville, Virginia.
She never returned and, for years, appeals from the family and local sheriffs fell flat. But having found out her mom was alive after thinking she was likely dead for the past 24 years, Amanda, now 38, has said publicly: "I am ecstatic, I am p*ssed, I am heartbroken, I am all over the map!"
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This late development in an old missing persons case came after years with no news about how or why Michele had disappeared, with Rockingham County Sheriffs posting a fresh appeal in 2020 and getting nowhere.
But it was only when a national law enforcement agency passed them fresh information they had discovered that the sheriffs were able to track Michele down - and she hadn't gone far.
However, rather than welcoming a heartwarming family reunion, missing Michele sadly told she police that she did not want to be contacted by her former family, who have simply been told she's alive.
Speaking to People, Rockingham County Sheriff Sam Page said of Smith: "She was in good health."
He continued: "Let me just say there were no allegations of any foul play regarding to her leaving. But according to Ms. Smith, she said she left due to ongoing domestic issues at the time."
Sharing her good news, but pondering on how it felt to know her mom was still alive, Amanda shared on a Facebook page created to track down her mom her sense of relief, but also betrayal.
In a lengthy Facebook post sharing the news of her mother she asked: "Will I have a relationship once more with my mom? Honestly I can't answer that bc I don't even know... My initial reaction would be yes absolutely but then I think of all the hurt... But even then ... My mom is only human just as we all are."
Amanda shared how she felt empathy for her mom's decision to leave, now that she's an adult and has experienced hardship herself. But she also shared how complex it was to attempt to forgive the woman who walked out on her with no explanation.
"Everything I have been through in life, I can absolutely understand taking off and leaving," Amanda said. "I am not saying that she gets off scott free without accountability or responsibility [because] she absolutely needs to do that.
"What I am saying is that I am a runner as well and while this isn't something to be proud of at all, it's a part of being human. Each one of us humans have our faults, we each have a shadow part and we each deserve the chance to better ourselves and to heal from our past."
Yet this understanding does not make it any easier for Amanda, who still feels the pain of her mom leaving all these years later. She said in her emotion-filled Facebook post that each member of her family would have to decide for themselves.
But for Amanda, some wounds are hard to heal and harder to forgive. She explained: "I may completely forgive my mother at some point or it may be too much to forgive... Well I mean nobody ever just forgets this kind of pain but I mean forget it enough to go on with life.
"My heart, soul and spirit says that I will forgive and I will never forget but I will be able to see it as a pain that no longer controls me. Right now, my head says that would be insane."