Expert reveals 3 nicknames used in relationships that mean it's doomed to fail
Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, Community, Mental Health
Bec Oakes
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Photo
Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, Community, Mental Health
From 'honey' to 'lovebug,' many couples use cutesy nicknames behind closed doors but an expert warns that three common monikers could be a sign that your relationship is doomed.
Using pet names in a relationship can undeniably strengthen the bond between a couple but they're not all created equally.
While some exude genuine warmth and affection for your partner, psychologist Dr Mark Travers warns that others can act as 'emotional wallpaper' in a relationship.
Are you guilt of using any of these popular pet names?
In an article for Psychology Today, Travers explained that being called 'babe' or 'baby' too early in a relationship can make you grow attached to someone who hasn't shown you true intimacy.
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"It can feel comforting, but that sense of warmth can be misleading," he wrote.
"Affectionate language triggers oxytocin, the brain's bonding hormone, which makes us feel emotionally close even in the absence of trust or consistency. You may start to feel attached to someone who's never actually shown you their emotional world."
Travers also warned that 'sweetheart' can be used to dismiss genuine concerns about your relationship or other things in what he calls 'emotional infantilsation'.
"Instead of engaging with your concerns, a partner might respond with: 'You overthink everything, sweetheart. Don't worry that pretty head of yours'.
"These responses may sound affectionate, but they can make you feel like you're overreacting for even bringing something up.
"Essentially, they minimise your emotions and shift the focus away from the issue at hand."
This tactic of treating you as if you're too fragile and emotionally unstable to be taken seriously is 'emotional infantilisation' and can have a serious impact on your mental health.
And, seemingly sweet monikers such as 'angel' can be used as 'emotional distractions' from the real issue at hand.
"After a conflict, instead of addressing the issue, there might be a flood of endearments," he said, "For example, Angel don't be mad.
"These words may sound sweet, but they often act as emotional distractions, soothing the partner's discomfort rather than engaging with real underlying problems.
"This is also called emotional appeasement—using affection to avoid emotional responsibility," Travers explained.
But the psychologist assures us that pet names aren't exclusively bad news.
He added: "Not all pet names are manipulative.
"In fact, in emotionally healthy relationships, they often reflect genuine affection and tenderness and can even help de-escalate tension.
"The key difference lies in intention and timing."