Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, US News, Psychology, Mental Health, Community
A psychologist has revealed that regardless of how healthy you may think your relationship is there can be subtle signs that it is actually coming to an end.
While most people are happy as can be when they get into a relationship with the person they believe to be ‘the one’, that feeling doesn’t always last.
While you may be happy for years, in some cases, things can start to fade and doubts and questions can start to enter your mind.
According to psychologist Mark Travers, questions of 'should I leave them' are the more clear and early signs that your relationship is coming to a close.
Advert
However, writing for Forbes, Travers revealed that there are more subtle signs that you or your partner might be displaying that could mean it is coming to an end.
Referencing a 2025 study that was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Travers noted that relationship satisfaction doesn’t just drop suddenly in most cases.
He explained that most relationships go through a phase of ‘terminal decline’ prior to the actual breakup and it is in this phase that these subtle signs can be seen.
Fantasies of no longer being tied to them romantically isn’t exactly a great sign that you are in the best mental space regarding your relationship.
Even if, right now, you don’t feel you will act on it, according to Travers this is still not a good place to be.
He noted that this feeling or desire will eventually start to manifest into other aspects of the relationship which are ultimately damaging.
He explained: “After a while, when the exhaustion sets in, you rarely notice how your body feels.
“You stop fighting because you no longer have the energy to keep trying. You don’t initiate conversations, try to repair what’s broken or mend the bond that seems to be crumbling."
According to the psychologist, making excuses, compromising and dwelling on the times you wish you didn’t hold your tongue can eventually start to weigh on you.
This ‘emotional labor’ can start to outweigh the connection you once had with your partner and the more important goal becomes no longer having the stress that comes with an unsatisfactory relationship.
Travers stated: "A 2023 study published in Family Relations found that, for dual-earner couples, emotional exhaustion didn’t just stem from external stressors. It was often associated with how unevenly emotional labor was distributed within the relationship.”
So, these feelings of being overly tired can stem from an uneven balance of emotional labor in the relationship. Even if you don’t fight, these feelings can weigh you down and be the early steps towards breaking up.
While not every thought is one you should dwell on, according to the Travers, in the pre-breakup phase, this would could be an issue.
The psychologist noted that there might not even be a ‘glaring’ reason to leave but it still crosses your mind at a more frequent rate.
He explained: “You start stacking good moments against the growing bad ones, and the future plans against their past mistakes.
“You start feeling like you’re the only one in the relationship who keeps trying, feeling a little lonelier each day. There might not even be a glaring reason to leave; there simply aren’t enough good reasons to stay. And that absence will start to weigh on you.
“If the question keeps returning to you, 'Should I just leave?' it’s no longer a question. It’s likely an answer you might be trying to ignore.”
