Expert reveals the 5 signs that mean someone has low emotional intelligence
Topics: Mental Health, TikTok, Psychology
Liv Bridge
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Mental Health, TikTok, Psychology
An expert has revealed there are five telltale signs that are a dead giveaway that someone has low emotional intelligence.
Low emotional intelligence often looks like difficulty recognizing, understanding and managing emotions as well as empathy, but it's not always that easy to spot - particularly in yourself.
Fortunately, Californian-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer, who goes by @therapytothepoint, is here with all the answers and has lifted the lid on those red flag signs.
Taking to TikTok, where he shares mental health tips and raises awareness of conditions and wellness initiatives, Jeffrey shared the most frequent five signs that indicate if someone is emotionally immature, and they're surprisingly common.
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At the top of his list is 'constant feuds.'
"People with low emotional intelligence seem to always be in a conflict with someone," he started. "At work, in friendships and their family.
"It's not bad luck."
The therapist explained: "It's usually because they don't know how to communicate without escalating things."
Next, he says those with low emotional intelligence tend to make everything about themselves, with the conversation revolving around them.
"You share something and somehow they're talking about themselves again," Jeffrey said.
"Conversations turn into monologues, not because they're self-centred but because they never learned how to have a truly reciprocal exchange."
A third giveaway is that they 'react' and 'don't reflect.'
"They lash out, shut down or get cold or passive aggressive, without pausing to consider what's actually going on inside," the therapist explained.
Jeffrey explained emotional intelligence 'requires self-awareness' and yet when that's missing, 'reflections come fast, harsh and often do damage.'
The therapist added the fourth sign is when they 'double down on mistakes instead of apologising or admitting they were wrong, they rationalize, deflect or shift blame,' he continued.
"It's not because they don't know the truth, it's because protecting their ego feels more important than making things right."
Finally, he said the fifth telltale sign is to do with emotional boundaries - in that a person with emotional immaturity will 'constantly cross' them.
Giving examples, Jeffrey said: "They overshare when it's not appropriate, they dump emotions on you without asking or they pressure you to open up before you're ready.
"It's not a deep connection, it's a lack of emotional regulation."
Low emotional intelligence can adversely affect both friendly and romantic relationships as clinical psychologist and brain coach Melania A. McNally writes that people with high emotional intelligence are much better equipped to handle 'everyday interactions, make better decisions and maintain healthier relationships.'
Fortunately, for the less emotionally available of us, it's not just doom and gloom as there are ways to actually improve our shortfalls.
This includes practicing self-awareness, identifying patterns in our emotions and practicing mindfulness, according to Davenport Psychology.
Honest feedback from others can also help to improve our emotions.