Sex therapist reveals three things she would never do in a relationship that a lot of people are guilty of

A sex therapist has detailed the three things she will never do in a relationship that a lot of people are seemingly guilty of.

There is no rulebook to this relationship thing, though there are certainly things you can do to ensure things go swimmingly.

But when you are in the middle of a tricky situation, it can be pretty difficult to gain perspective - so listening to the advice of a sex and relationships expert is always a good option.

Vanessa is a ‘'licensed psychotherapist’ who studied human sexuality, and has been a sex therapist for the best part of 20 years.

Alongside her partner Xander, ‘a regular dude’, she shares sex advice and ‘frank discussions’ on YouTube. And in a recent video, she detailed three things she would never do in a relationship.

A sex therapist reveals three things she would never do in a relationship (Getty Stock Photo)

Shame a partner

Vanessa stressed how you should never shame a partner ‘for initiating sex in a moment’ when they wasn’t personally into it.

“I know that when your partner initiates sometimes it can bring up shame, embarrassment, frustration if you really aren’t into it in that moment,” the therapist explained.

“But I know how vulnerable initiating can be.”

The therapist went on to say she would never want to make her partner feeling bad for ‘putting themselves out there and asking’.

Stopping initiating as a ‘test’

This is an automatic no-go, with Vanessa stating: "I would never stop initiating sex as a test to my partner."

The therapist did not how ‘frustrating’ it might feel if you’re the one with the higher sex drive - but it's important to put things into perspective.

"Tests like these never work out for anybody. Sex should not be a mind game," Vanessa added.

Fake an orgasm

This is a hugely discussed one, with Vanessa warning against doing it in the bedroom.

Heck, a poll in the UK found a whopping 58 percent of British women have faked an orgasm - suggesting it's certainly very common in a lot of relationships.

Many of us are guilty of it (Getty Stock Photo)

Vanessa ‘understands’ why people fake an orgasm however, as she said: "I really sympathise with the many reasons we fake,” admitting to have done it ‘tonnes’ of times in the past.

"But nobody wins when you fake. You have unsatisfying sex, your partner never ends up learning what you like and you only find yourself growing more and more resentful."

So, if you are embarking on any of these activities, think twice as to whether it's impacting your relationship.

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