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Topics: News, World News, Sex and Relationships
Kit Roberts
Sometimes despite our best efforts relationships simply don't work out, and we end up having to move on.
While ending a bad relationship is a good thing, even if it is very difficult at the time, sometimes there can be that nagging thought that we want to get back with our ex.
Maybe we're on a night out and feeling lonely, or start to see the relationship through rose-tinted spectacles and miss the positive parts of it, while ignoring the bad parts.
It's only human, especially if it was a longer relationship and had a lot of genuine positives, but just didn't work out.
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The temptation to send that text can become strong, particularly if they reach out first.
But a relationship expert has shared why it is often a bad idea to try and reignite a relationship with an ex - or even to send one of those late night texts.
Emma Hathorn is a dating expert from premium dating platform Seeking and shared why no matter how strong the temptation is, getting back with you ex is almost certain to end badly.
"Getting back with an ex is almost always a bad idea," she said. "It only works when something fundamental has actually changed."
We're not just talking someone having a post-breakup glow-up here, to be clear - this is looking at the deep reasons why you broke up in the first place.
"Getting back with an ex without real change is like replaying the same game with the exact same strategy and expecting a different score," said Emma.
"Time alone doesn’t fix relationship dynamics. There needs to be real growth, reflection, and a willingness from both people to address the issues that caused the breakup in the first place."
Not only that, but nostalgia for the good times can make us forget the bad things about a relationship as well.
"One of the biggest red flags is when someone wants to reunite simply because they miss the comfort or familiarity of the relationship," Emma said, warning to beware of nostalgia.
"Nostalgia can make the past feel better than it actually was, but if the core problems remain unresolved, you’re likely to repeat the same cycle," she advised.
If even all this isn't enough to dissuade you and you're convinced that both you and your ex have changed, there's other things to think about as well.
"It’s important to consider whether going back means settling for something you already know didn’t work," said Emma.
"There is a reason that caused the breakup, and there is a reason that the relationship is now in the past."
She even suggested that viewing a previous relationship with that nostalgia might itself suggest that you haven't done the work to make things work this time.
Emma said: "Often, when you give in to that nostalgia, it means you haven’t learned the lesson and you will end up reliving the lesson that you already were forced to experience."
Basically - if you really love them, let them go. Sometimes a cliche is a cliche for a reason!