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Harvard researcher shares the simple question that can instantly improve your relationship

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 09:43 22 Mar 2026 GMT

Harvard researcher shares the simple question that can instantly improve your relationship

Often it's the simpler things which can help us the most

Kit Roberts

Kit Roberts

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock

Topics: News, US News, World News, Sex and Relationships

Kit Roberts
Kit Roberts

Kit joined UNILAD in 2023 as a community journalist. They have previously worked for StokeonTrentLive, the Daily Mirror, and the Daily Star.

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A researcher at Harvard has revealed a question you can ask your partner which could do wonders for your relationship, and it's simpler than you may think.

Some people might be wondering, once you have a relationship, what's the best way that you can keep you and your partner happy?

We could go all the way back through history to the beginning of human civilisation in an attempt to answer that particular conundrum, but things like always making time for each other, staying physically intimate and affectionate, and little daily things are all important.

Now, Harvard psychiatrist Dr Ashwini Nadkarni has suggested one question to ask if you're worried about feeling closer to your partner.

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Dr Nadkarni, who is an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, shared the simple, six-word question.

Asking one simple question could help your relationship (Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty)
Asking one simple question could help your relationship (Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty)

This is: "What makes you feel most loved?"

Speaking to Reader's Digest, Dr Nadkarni explained that this was all to do with helping people understand each other better, and crucially get some insight into each other's 'love languages'.

"It helps couples understand each other's love languages, what each person needs to feel special and cared for," she said.

What are love languages?

Love languages are the different ways in which we relate to each other, and how we express affection and like people to show affection to us.

For some people, it might be physical touch, not just sex, but also things like wanting to cuddle on the couch, and for others, it might be acts of service, like making your partner their favorite dinner.

Dr Nadkarni said: "In asking this, you're learning what makes your partner feel truly noticed and secure.

Communication is key, as always (OR Images/Getty)
Communication is key, as always (OR Images/Getty)

"It gives you insight into those core areas that help someone feel valued."

And while being with someone for a long time might make you assume that you know this, Dr Nadkarni explained that this might not necessarily be the case.

"Even couples who have been together for decades can discover new layers in their relationship," she said.

As life passes, things change, and we do with them.

Things like having children or health problems might change the way that people view their relationship, for example.

So, something as deceptively simple as this question might help you explore your relationship, whether it's been 12 months or 12 years.

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