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Relationship coach shares controversial opinion on why it could be 'your fault' your significant other cheated

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 19:42 19 Aug 2025 GMT+1

Relationship coach shares controversial opinion on why it could be 'your fault' your significant other cheated

The relationship coach has explained her reasoning

Callum Jones

Callum Jones

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community

Callum Jones
Callum Jones

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A relationship coach has shared the controversial reason why it could be 'your fault' your partner has decided to do the dirty and cheat.

In some people's eyes, cheating is the ultimate act of betrayal - and something that would instantly end a relationship.

With a new form of cheating on the rise and many divided on what actually counts as cheating nowadays, it can often be difficult to spot the signs your other half is being deceitful.

Whatever form of cheating it may be, few people are in the camp that the person being cheated on is to blame for their partner deceiving them - but that is the view of one relationship coach.

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Speaking on Jay Shetty’s 'On Purpose' podcast, Sadia Khan said that it could be the person's who got cheated at fault because they failed to pick up on specific signs.

Sadia Khan's opinion is certainly controversial (Getty Stock Photo)
Sadia Khan's opinion is certainly controversial (Getty Stock Photo)

"People don’t usually lie. They may say lies, but they’ll show you their red flags, pretty much from day one," the expert said. "It might be that you caught them in a few lies when you first got with them. You would’ve caught some sign that this person is capable of deeper lies.

"If you pay close attention to your partner, then it’s quite difficult for them to live a whole double life without you catching on."

Some people work solely on catching cheaters out, including Cassie Crofts, whose job as a private investigator involves uncovering cheaters on a daily basis.

The Australian runs Venus Investigations and works with clients who are concerned their partner may be cheating and conducts dating background checks.

Speaking with UNILAD, Cassie discussed the process of catching cheaters and it begins with going through a timeline with the concerned partner.

What counts as 'cheating' is a tricky one (Getty Stock Photo)
What counts as 'cheating' is a tricky one (Getty Stock Photo)

"We try, wherever possible, to sort of identify a particular date where we think something's going to happen," she said.

"Like, you know, he's flagged a couple of days in advance that he's going to be working late, or there's a trip to go see his cousin and you've never heard of this cousin. What's going on, that kind of thing."

The expert added: "I sort of build out an investigation plan for them based on what's a successful outcome. And then we talk through costings and how long we're willing to do this for, and they get a daily update on where things are at.

"So occasionally it will have been three days [and] we haven't found anything, and they're like, 'Look, at this point, it looks like he's doing everything he says he is. We'll call it there.'"

  • 'Zip coding' dating trend explained as your significant other could be doing it without you even knowing
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