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Topics: US News, Sex and Relationships
Britt Jones
Cuckolding is becoming increasingly popular for US couples, but you need to be aware of the dangers before you try it.
Like any kink, consent, comfortability, and safety are all priorities that need to be strictly followed.
Long conversations and communication throughout is essential to making these things work, and ensuring everyone is happy with its progress.
While you might have thought US individuals were more prudent than Europeans when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it seems that cuckolding has become somewhat of a favorite for some people.
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If you don’t know what it is, cuckolding is the art of a man watching his partner being sexually pleasured - usually by another man.
For a role reversal, this is called cuckqueaning (where a woman watches her partner).
Mariëlle de Goede explained that her sexual-fantasy research in the Netherlands and Belgium found that cuckhldoing didn’t line up with what you’d expect from the US, but things like submission and domination did.
She said on the Sex and Psychology podcast, hosted by the Kinsey Institute sex researcher Justin Lehmiller, that even when she looked at his Americans' fantasies research, she found that it didn’t add up.
So, why is it getting popular? It could be because it’s taboo. It could also be down to someone choosing cuckolding because they enjoy BDSM sexual dynamics, Lehmiller said.
Or, they could find pleasure in seeing their partner experience pleasure, known as compersion, Lehmiller added.
For Lehmiller, his 2018 book on sexual fantasies led him to realize that around 45 per cent of men sexually fantasize about watching their female partners with other men.
He also said that politically conservative men want to take part in cuckolding as a sexual fantasy more often than liberal men, despite those being the men who typically use ‘cuck’ as a derogatory term.
Surely, there’s no harm in doing it? Wrong.
According to sex expert (sexpert) and author of So You Want To Be a Cuckold? Adreena Winters, there need to be provisions in place, or it could ruin your relationship.
Winters shared: "I get a few comments from people worried that if they do take that step, it might ruin their relationship and maybe they find someone better, but it’s not the case. I’ve found it can strengthen the bond."
She warned that 'the relationship needs to be really good in the first place' before you join in with the growingly popular sex trend.
"It's not about replacing anybody," Winters added.
But there are some good things that can come from the trend if you’re doing it properly.
According to the expert, many people are doing it to refresh their sex lives.
"I’ve seen married couples with children want to get involved with cuckolding," she said, adding: "A lot of older couples introduce it down the line, especially if they met when they were quite young. They feel like they need to do a bit more exploring."
Winters continued: "Couples need to have that connection, or cuckolding isn’t that fulfilling.
"Cuckolding can also improve communication because couples need to make sure they’re coming back together and having open and honest conversations."
If this is your jam, you might as well give it a go if you think your relationship would benefit from it.