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Topics: Mental Health, Sex and Relationships
Ben Williams
A growing number of couples are rethinking what intimacy really means, and a surprising new trend is leading the way. Known as Karezza, this approach to sex is less about performance and more about connection — and it’s catching attention for its unexpected emotional and physical benefits.
While the name might sound exotic, Karezza isn’t a modern invention. In fact, it’s rooted in practices that go back more than a century. But in a time when conversations about mindfulness, mental health, and authentic connection are everywhere, it’s making a comeback for all the right reasons.
As to what exactly this particular trend is;’Karezza’ (pronounced ka-RET-za) comes from the Italian word ‘carezza’, meaning ‘caress’. It’s a form of gentle, affectionate sexual intercourse that focuses on relaxation, tenderness, and love rather than orgasm.
The goal is to reach a state of calm unity with your partner; this is something practitioners say deepens both physical and emotional closeness.
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The concept dates back to 1844, when a man named John Humphrey Noyes developed an idea he called ‘Male Continence’: a method of achieving intimacy without orgasm. Later, American physician Alice B. Stockham introduced the term ‘Karezza’, which sex theorist J. William Lloyd explored in his 1931 book The Karezza Method. Lloyd described it as a way to maintain ‘strong sexual energy’ and strengthen the bond between partners.
He also claimed it could help with certain physical ailments, such as painful menstruation and prostatitis, although there’s no scientific evidence supporting those health claims. What has been observed, however, is that Karezza-style intimacy boosts oxytocin — often called the ‘love hormone’ — which enhances feelings of warmth, trust, and emotional safety.
Unlike conventional sex, the purpose of Karezza isn’t passion or climax. Instead, it focuses on connection through small, meaningful actions: maintaining eye contact, gentle touch, synchronized breathing, and mutual stillness. Common positions tend to be relaxed, such as lying side by side or embracing softly.
According to Lloyd, the practice is successful when partners feel a unifying and direct connection rather than the release associated with orgasm. It can take patience and open communication to master, especially for those accustomed to goal-oriented intimacy. Experts recommend giving the method at least three weeks to explore its effects on emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction.
For some couples, Karezza has become a way to reconnect on a deeper level, reducing anxiety, and shifting focus from performance to presence.