Featured Image Credit: Fox News/M&M's/Twitter
Topics: US News, Tucker Carlson
Joe Harker
Fox News host Tucker Carlson is being mocked across the internet after he complained about how M&Ms have been getting less sexy.
The past few years have been hard on all of us, what with the pandemic, political upheaval and economic uncertainty, so it's important to cling to those things we hold dearest to our hearts – things like finding the mascots for M&Ms attractive, because who among us hasn't looked at a picture of a giant M&M with arms, legs and eyes and thought they look sexy?
This surprising development comes after M&Ms unveiled a more 'inclusive' look for its roster of mascots, with such world-shattering changes as the green one wearing sneakers instead of boots, and the brown one being robbed of her stiletto heels and forced to endure the indignity of block heels instead.
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The Daily Beast reports that Carlson apparently thought the change was newsworthy enough to talk about on air, and he launched into a bizarre rant.
He said, 'The brown M&M has quote 'transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels', also less sexy, that's progress.
'M&Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous, until the moment that you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them.
'That's the goal, when you're totally turned off we've achieved equity, they've won.'
Carlson also aimed a jibe at the orange M&M, who will now 'acknowledge and embrace his anxiety', with the Fox News host suggesting he might be anxious because his fellow mascots were no longer wearing their 'sexy boots', which would make the orange M&M a 'secret sexist himself'.
Quite why you would want to have a drink with a cartoon character designed to sell you M&Ms is unclear – they're not real in the first place and they'd probably spend the entire time shilling for M&Ms – but Carlson felt this was the moment a line had to be drawn in the sand.
Naturally, the Fox News host was widely mocked for his strange rant about the sexual appeal of cartoon M&Ms, largely because it's a really weird thing to get upset about it and angrily ranting it on mainstream TV makes you look a bit strange.
If you have a story you want to tell, though preferably not one about how sexy you find M&Ms, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]