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Sex therapist Kaly Miller has recently explained the nuances to her work and revealed one of the most heartbreaking clients she had.
Kaly Miller recently appeared on the British breakfast show This Morning and discussed her work and how she got into being a sex surrogate.
While sex surrogates may have sex with their clients, they differ from sex workers or prostitutes as they often discuss intimacy and the mental aspects of sexual encounters for the benefit of their clients, who may have struggles with the topic.
Speaking on the TV show, Miller explained that she fell into the profession by accident as she worked as a remedial sports massage therapist.
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She noted that she realized in her late 30s, having studied psychosexuality, how much she 'didn’t know’ about her ‘understanding of her own humanity’.
Whilst still working as a massage therapist, Miller saw an ad in a newspaper looking for 'open-minded body workers'. At first she questioned what she had got herself into but Miller also told the host that the person who made her comfortable with this niche profession was actually her first client. She revealed the one heartbreaking thing he said that stuck with her years later.
She said: “It was an incredible person, that had spent their lives very shy and awkward and never really progressing into any intimacy.
“They were mid 60s and they sat in front of me and one of the points of contact was having a conversation, like we are now, and I asked ‘why are you here, what brought you to this’.
“I didn’t expect the depth of the answer and the answer was, ‘I don’t want to die without knowing what love feels like’.
“My heart literally goes up, because I not only the moment, I know the voice, I know the person, I know the feeling of them, I know their journey, what it looked like.”
She added one other heartbreaking facet of the client: that he was so touch-starved that they would go to the corner shop with coins rather than notes, because the only touch they would have was when they paid the cashier.
Miller also said the client would look at a woman through a window in his home and imagine the possibilities, but never quite having the confidence to make a move or approach someone.
Miller added that the sentence flew through her as she added: "I knew then and there, this is where I am at, and this is where I am in the right space. This is what I was born for."
Miller has to date slept with over 400 clients, however, she has previously had partners while doing this job, and claims that 'there is no me without this work'. She also has children of her own and claims that her clients often have families and partners as well, but her kids and her parents are her 'number one fans'.
