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Topics: Science, Sex and Relationships, World News
Ella Scott
Topics: Science, Sex and Relationships, World News
A dating guru has detailed six key reasons why she believes women are likely to cheat on their partners - and some may catch you seriously off guard.
Infidelity - the act or state of being unfaithful to your spouse, partner, or exclusive sexual partner - can have a devastating impact on both parties.
Not only do some cheaters end up harboring feelings of intense guilt and remorse, but their actions could cause the innocent member of the partnership to experience a bout of low self-esteem and suffer a significant loss of trust.
But if you’re a woman who chooses to cheat, you may be doing it for a multitude of complex reasons, says relationship expert Tracey Cox.
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She recently stated in The Daily Mail that six core motivations often cause women to two-time their partners, and that ‘some might just surprise you’.
These include being neglected by your emotionally absent partner, wanting to stalk away from responsibilities, and satisfy a craving for sexual satisfaction.
So, without further ado, here are the most likely reasons women commit infidelity:
Emotional neglect involves a partner or spouse ‘consistently failing to notice, attend to and/or respond in a timely response’ to their S.O’s feelings, as per Roubicek & Thacker Counseling.
This inattentiveness can be caused by an abundance of factors, including hectic lifestyles, societal expectations, and even shifting focus from a relationship to a stressful career move.
Unfortunately, emotional neglect is extremely difficult to pin down, due to your partner ironically doing ‘nothing wrong’.
However, some of the clear signs are listed as: procrastinating with plans, feeling alone, and a lack of clarity about what your partner wants and expects from you.
Cox claims that women suffering from a broken emotional connection are more likely to play away.
She also explains that maintaining the bond you have with your ‘one’ is ‘crucial’ for a happy life.
If you are suffering from emotional neglect, employing a couples' therapist to work as a medium may help tackle the root cause of your drift.
If you’ve been wronged in the past, then you may want to get back at your deceiving partner, says the relationship expert.
“It's not just about evening the score: it's about reclaiming a sense of agency and dignity in a relationship where we feel wronged," Cox explained.
"It might not be the most sensible course of action but the urge to hurt our partner the same way we've been hurt, is hard to resist.”
Cox’s statement has been backed up by a 2017 study published by Kayla Knopp in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
In the scientific paper, titled ‘Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships’, researchers found that someone is three times more likely to cheat if they have committed infidelity in the past.
“Regardless of whether you are the perpetrator of the infidelity or whether your partner was, those experiences are substantially more likely to repeat themselves,” Knopp says, as per the University of Denver.
“However, there are lots of people who break those patterns. I don't want to suggest that it’s someone’s fault that someone is cheating on them, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that we all play a role in our relationships.”
Unfortunately, a power imbalance - whether it be money, status or age - can wreak relationships, even if you’ve been going strong for so long.
According to Cox, women who feel second best to their partners can sometimes reach for control by having an extramarital affair.
“In relationships marked by emotional or psychological imbalances, having an affair is a way of reclaiming a sense of control," she wrote.
"It's particularly common when a partner is overly dominant or controlling. If you're too scared to confront directly, doing something sneaky behind their back to make yourself feel better is the next best thing."
Emily Heard, a marriage and family therapist in Menlo Park, California, has explained that it is best to face power dynamics head-on.
“Name your vulnerability, and trust your partner cares enough about you to honor it. If you know your partner has a trauma history from a previous relationship, help them to feel supported,” she told Psych Central.
“If you feel that shame is arising around your appearance and body image, be vulnerable and honest with your partner about it. Trust that they love you and will not use it against you.”
As per a study published in the National Institutes of Health, 15.2-50.4 percent of women are not satisfied with their sexual activity.
Cox claims that this insatiable appetite for better sex is causing more and more women to stray away from their partners and spouses.
"If you're not getting good and regular sex at home, you're more likely to get it elsewhere,” she stated.
“Sex might be fourth on the list of motivators for women in the study but we're still susceptible to being seduced if sex with our partner is boring and dull.”
Not carving out time for yourself can put a massive strain on monogamous relationships, says Cox.
Think about it: you have chores to do, work to complete, possible parental responsibilities, a social life to compete in, and an exercise regime to maintain.
You need some time to just be you, outside of all expectations.
So while some people head to the spa for a total, solo wind-down, others are calling up their secret beaus for a last-minute romp.
I mean, if that’s how you make it better.
“The constant stress of juggling career, motherhood, work, and other responsibilities leave many women feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed,” she writes.
"'It's something that's just for me,' is a statement therapists hear a lot from women forced to justify why they stepped outside their marriage.”
Saying ‘I do’ is a dream shared by so many, with more than two million women tying the knot in 2022, according to Bowling Green State University.
But what happens two decades down the line, when you realise you no longer have a spark with the person you’re saddled with?
Playing away and cheating with others, according to Cox.
“Nearly eight per cent of women said they'd cheated simply because they were bored; another five per cent said they did it because they wanted novelty,” she stated.
“Monogamy might offer security and companionship but humans desensitise rapidly and even in good relationships there are periods where life seems, well, monotonous.”
If you find your relationship is becoming stagnant then there’s a myriad of ways to combat boredom before you resort to hopping into bed with someone else.
These include attending sports clubs together, embracing change, or perhaps traveling the world.