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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community, US News
Ella Scott
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community, US News
Experts have weighed in on Gen Z’s ‘obsession’ with lavender marriages, claiming the dating trend could spell ‘heartache’ for those who fail to solidify rules.
In the past, a lavender marriage was all about convenience; a sure-fire way for LGBTQ+ people to hide their sexuality from society.
“Celebrities and normal people alike entered these relationships in the past so they could ‘protect themselves from persecution and stigmatisation,'" said Anne-Marie Zanzal, a questioning sexuality/coming out coach.
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“People who were married were perceived to be more stable and, of course, straight.”
Now, mixed orientation marriage is desired for a whole host of reasons. This includes Gen Z allegedly being done with being cheated on by same-sex dates, wrote Psychology Today last year.
"Gen Z is rejecting the standard marriage blueprint, focusing instead on shared goals: financial security, reliable companionship, and a partner who's down to weather life's ups and downs without necessarily being 'the one,'” argued Channa Bromley, founder of the Metamorphosis Relationship Coaching Institute (MRCI).
“In a world where the romance script doesn't fit everyone's story, these modern lavender marriages are a radical way of rethinking relationships—less about the fairytale, more about building a stable, sustainable life with someone who gets it.”
However, a dating expert has warned that there are some serious downsides when it comes to lavender marriages.
Christine DeVore, a licensed clinical psychologist and the director of adult and couples services at Birch Psychology, has said the rising trend can lead to some nasty consequences for both parties if they’re not careful.
"If no boundaries are put in place at the beginning of your lavender marriage, then there’s a chance you could fall in love with your platonic partner.
"This could lead to emotional vulnerability and potentially losing the friendship you had with your SO before entering the pact."
Moreover, Business Insider reported that even if you do put ‘rules’ in place, they need to be reassessed regularly to avoid potential conflict further down the line.
“While a lavender marriage may offer certain advantages, it does not guarantee a lifetime of happiness and fulfilment,” DeVore said.
"It's important to remember that no relationship, including a lavender marriage, is immune to heartache," she added.
If you are adamant that you and your non-sexual partner want to jump on the lavender marriage, then there are some things you can do to make sure your relationship remains harmonious.
It’s advised that you engage in deep, honest conversations together and agree on the type and levels of emotional intimacy each partner will provide, as per marriage.com.
You should also continue assessing the legal and financial benefits of your relationship—just because it worked before, it does not mean it will work in the future.
So, if you’re thinking of embarking on your own lavender marriage, make sure you’re on the same page as your partner at all times!