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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Spain, LGBTQ, Community
Joe Yates
A heteroflexible man has detailed how his sexuality impacts his relationships after breaking off his 'healthy and wholesome' monogamous romance with his partner to pursue his sexual dreams.
There's a lot to unpack here, but first let's introduce Chase, a 30-year-old writer from Barcelona, Spain, who is heteroflexible - which means he is heterosexual but will sometimes feel a sexual connection to people of the same sex as him.
He broke off his long-term relationship despite feeling safe in it, as he was never 'fully content' and often felt as if he was 'missing out' - or as he put it, while he was with his partner he would fantasize 'about relationships with sexually liberated older women'.
After the split he opted to live his life on his own terms, and began pursuing ethical non-monogamous (ENM) relationships - which means all parties agree to pursue more than one relationship.
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"Now I’m living those dreams, with not just one, but several women," he told the Metro.
Those dreams have been playing for the last three years, and in that time Chase has discovered how ethical non-monogamy has impacted his life and relationships.
"Since turning my back on monogamy, working out has become crucial for my sex life," he explains.
"Keeping up with multiple women, some of whom might only be sexually active with me, requires strength and stamina. All my partners know I’m ENM though, so there’s no issue there.
"I like to take control in bed, and having muscles gives me both the confidence and the physicality to play the role of stud."
I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? If you're hoping to catch the eye of multiple potential suitors, the best way to do that is to be in good shape.
Throughout his day, Chase sends messages to his two girlfriends, as well as 'other women in my life suggesting meets later this week', with messages varying from benign and sweet to dirty and raunchy.
However, that doesn't mean he's aiming to bed as many partners as possible.
"Despite some people’s preconceptions about non-monogamy, I value quality over quantity when it comes to sex, and I always try to keep a day free between lovers to make sure I can perform at my best each time," Chase writes.
"Instead, I see friends in the evening after work and then get a solid night’s rest."
In the three years that have passed since his break-up, he's under learned to 'listen to and trust my gut instinct', a tool that he now uses when meeting potential lovers
"There’s simply no point pursuing a connection if you’re no longer feeling it," Chase adds.