Two couples divorced after years of marriage so they could become a foursome
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Featured Image Credit: Instagram/@thewright_rachel
Two couples divorced after years of marriage so that they could become a foursome following the emergency of new rulings recognising the greater variety of relationships today.
Although polyamory, or ethical non-monogamy, has always been around, the idea of more than two people in one relationship has been more widely accepted in recent years.
This is reflected in a recent passing of the first multiple-partner domestic partnership ordinance in Somerville, Massachusetts, which arose from the acknowledgement that people in polyamorous relationships were unable to access their partners' protections such as health insurance.
One polycule – a connected network of people in non-monogamous relationships – that took advantage of these inclusive ideas started with Rachel and Kyle Wright.
After several years of marriage, the pair decided to explore the world of polyamory in 2019.
In a conversation with Insider, Rachel, a 34-year-old marriage family therapist who lives in New York, explained that it was something she and Kyle were interested in since they first got together.
"But because our society is so mono-normative, I didn't really have the courage to say, 'Yes, this is what I want,' and neither did Kyle," she told the outlet.
When they did decide to dive in, they went in head first, downloading the Feeld app, which is for people looking for more diverse styles of dating, and also listened to podcasts on the subject.
Once they started dating other people, Rachel, who is bisexual, explained that Kyle came out as publicly bisexual too.
She added: "I found so much joy in watching Kyle blossom, and was feeling more and more like myself. It was just so fun."
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Their plans were halted during the pandemic, although they were still able to date online – and this led them to married couple Yair Lenchner and Ashley Giddens.
The quad hit it off, and once lockdown restrictions eased, they were able to go on socially-distant dates before merging their pods.
They would alternate between date nights at each others' houses, and despite Kyle and Yair being platonic, they grew closer and closer each time they hung out, with Rachel describing it as a 'whirlwind'.
Around 18 months after they first met, the four decided to move in together and they truly lived like a family, even adopting a puppy together and making a schedule for house chores.
Despite being in a solid polycule, they realised their marriages weren't benefiting them – for instance, Rachel and Kyle were paying towards Yair and Ashley's mortgage while not building any equity.
As such, they sought the help of lawyer Diana Adams, the executive director of the Chosen Family Law Center and someone who's been at the forefront of the multiple-partner domestic partnership laws.
Although New York is yet to take on the same ordinance, the two respective couples decided to divorce in a bid to get one step closer to being a recognised polycule.
This meant that they could all be listed individually on a cohabitation agreement.
Adams explained: "With domestic partnerships, you don't entangle your finances like marriage. In some ways, I think that's a good thing."
Sadly, Kyle has since split from the foursome, although they said it was a mutual decision, with Rachel writing on Instagram that he 'wants to do some work on himself and figure out who he is'.
"Is this permanent? I don’t know. Maybe," she said.
"But, for now, and for the foreseeable future, Kyle will be living in Brooklyn and Yair, Ash and I are going to stay at our house."
Topics: Community, US News, Sex and Relationships
