Dating expert issues Christmas red flag that people ignore during the festive season
Topics: Christmas, Sex and Relationships
Ellie Kemp
Featured Image Credit: AleksandarNakic/Getty Images/Tom Werner/Getty Images
Topics: Christmas, Sex and Relationships
It's the most wonderful time of the year - or so Andy Williams' 1963 festive hit goes.
But with freezing cold weather and depressingly dark, short days, is it really? For us singletons, it can be even worse.
Add cuffing season to the mix, and we're feeling the pressure more than ever to find a partner to cosy up with.
But don't let those sickening photos of couples with the matching Christmas pyjamas fool you - not everything is as it seems.
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A number of toxic dating trends crop up over winter, from 'scrooging' to 'sledging'.
But one expert has urged people to avoid taking part in a potentially damaging trend as we tread deeper into winter.
Those of us in new relationships could be at risk of so-called ‘boyfriend blindness' - a phenomenon that's supposedly rife this time of year.
Simply put, 'boyfriend blindness' is the tendency to ignore red flags in a new partner over the holidays as societal pressure mounts.
It's essentially the opposite of 'scrooging', where people break things off with their partners to dodge forking out on a Christmas presents.
While most of us (myself, for instance) can ignore glaringly obvious red flags year-round, winter can make us even more vulnerable.
As Dr Singh from WINIT Clinic told Condoms.uk, this is down to 'cognitive biases and emotional vulnerability, which reach a peak this time of year'.
He adds: "It is partly driven by a fear of loneliness or societal judgment and the dopamine-driven highs of holiday festivities that will take off the edge of relationship issues momentarily."
Dr Singh explains how, psychologically, boyfriend blindness is 'a function of confirmation bias, in which individuals selectively focus on their partner's positive traits or moments in time'.
This leads us to overlook our new beau's 'warning signs' that do not fit our ideal of what the relationship should look and feel like.
Dr Singh continues: "This bias can be amplified by the festive period, which focuses on shared experiences and shows of togetherness in public.
"It heightens our emotional state, making it even more likely that the need for connection may supersede critical thinking or self-preserving instincts."
And as our brains are 'wired' for comfort and to belong, this need simply makes us human.
But forcing a relationship with the wrong person? Come on, we both know that's not the solution.
If you find yourself glossing over someone's red flags this Christmas, there's good news - you have the power to stop it.
Dr Singh recommends reflecting on your core values, practicing honest self-assessment and speaking to friends or mental health professionals.
And sometimes, all we need is a bit of perspective.
Speaking of, I'll leave you with Dr Singh's wise words: "It is critical to remind oneself that this is a time for self-compassion and patience.
"Spending the holidays single and authentically considering one's needs is often a path to healthier relationships and better self-esteem later on in life.”