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Common phone habit expert warns is actually a huge relationship red flag

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 14:55 26 Nov 2024 GMT

Common phone habit expert warns is actually a huge relationship red flag

A study has found that some traits could be a sign your partner is trying to control you

Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock/Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Topics: Technology, Sex and Relationships

Niamh Shackleton
Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton is an experienced journalist for UNILAD, specialising in topics including mental health and showbiz, as well as anything Henry Cavill and cat related. She has previously worked for OK! Magazine, Caters and Kennedy.

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A relationship expert has shared the warning signs you should look out for when it comes to partners and their cellphones.

There's much debate over what is and what isn't acceptable when it comes to your partner's use of technology, and it differs from couple to couple.

For example, one couple might be fine with their significant other going through their phone, while another pair might find it somewhat intrusive.

Crunching the numbers

With the ongoing discussions in mind, a recent study involving 2,046 Australian adults looked at love in the age of technology.

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The research published by eSafety asked people if they agreed or disagreed with 'a range of specific behaviours and expectations that could be red flags for tech-based coercive control by an intimate partner'.

The results found that most people did not agree that certain behaviors were a sign of care or that it was a 'reasonable' expectation in a relationship.

However, a 'a sizeable portion' agreed they were.

When asked about knowing their partner's passcodes on personal devices, 23.3 percent agreed or strongly agreed that this was a reasonable thing to expect.

Some people saw no issue with asking for their partner's passcode (Getty Stock)
Some people saw no issue with asking for their partner's passcode (Getty Stock)

In regards to tracking their significant other on apps like Find My Friends or Life360, 13.6 percent felt this was reasonable.

A further 19.1 percent thought it was acceptable to want someone to be constantly available to contact via text, call, or video chats and that it was a sign of care from the person they're dating.

When your phone habits become a red flag

Speaking on the findings, eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant said: "There are many practical and safe reasons why two people in an intimate relationship might consent to sharing their passcodes, tracking each other or sending frequent messages to check where the other person is or what they’re doing."

Over 13% of participants felt it was reasonable to track their spouse (Getty Stock)
Over 13% of participants felt it was reasonable to track their spouse (Getty Stock)

Grant continued: "What’s concerning about these findings is the normalisation of these expectations within any intimate relationship.

"In this age of ubiquitous tech, we need to be careful not to inadvertently erode a partner’s privacy, boundaries and agency simply because digital devices allow us to track, cross-check and recheck their every action, like and dislike."

Speaking of red flags, Grant went on: "When there are several red flags, it could be that you or someone you know is a target of tech-based coercive control.

"Tech-based coercive control isn’t a single act of abuse but a pattern of controlling behaviours. It’s often difficult to spot because the abuser will describe their abusive actions as acts of care or deep concern. But like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, this is abuse dressed up as love."

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