Dating expert explains how simple question can determine whether you're compatible with someone

Finding someone special in the modern world is no mean feat. Between navigating fake online dating profiles and figuring out if someone is being real with you in person, it's enough to give up entirely.

But what if there was one question that you could ask to cut through all the garbage and figure out whether or not someone is actually compatible with you?

It might seem too good to be true but someone with years of experience in the field of sex and relationships says a recent trend among younger people is making it easier to spot a wrong 'un from the right one.

It doesn't quite have the same ring to it as 'what are you doing later?' or 'come here often?', but dating expert Emily Conway, CEO and Creative Director of Dragon Toys, says that the single best question you can ask is - 'what's your attachment style?'

A simple question could prevent the heartache and heartbreak of being with someone who is incompatible (Getty Stock Image)

That's because research indicates that over 60 percent of single people are looking for clear communication in dating, with emotional honesty rated as the most important trait a potential partner can have.

So being able to talk honestly about what you are looking for in a relationship, as well as what you want out of a relationship, is the easiest way to know if there should even be a second date.

Conway says that this 'sidesteps ambiguity' and helps to 'create alignment' between both prospective partners. After all, if one person values their independence and the other person needs constant reaffirmation, it's unlikely to work out in the long run.

But that is not to say that asking someone about their attachment style should replace a simple 'hello' on a first date, with Conway arguing that there is a good time to bring this topic up.

If clinginess is a deal breaker for you, it's best to bring it up sooner rather than later (Getty Stock Image)

That is, as early as possible without seeming a bit insane, because this can help you to avoid overcommitting to a relationship that will simply never work out.

“It fast-tracks compatibility,” Conway said. “You're essentially finding out, very early on, whether this person's emotional patterns are going to work alongside yours.”

She also advised to avoid couching the conversation in therapy-speak, adding: “Attachment style conversations don't have to feel like a therapy intake form. The key is timing and tone. Bring it up naturally, maybe after you've both shared something a little more personal, rather than leading with it cold."

For those of us who find the whole dating process somewhat awkward, Conway suggests thinking about it as a topic of conversation.

She advised: "Frame it as curiosity, not assessment. Something like ‘I've been thinking a lot about attachment styles lately, and have you ever looked into yours?’ keeps it light and open.

“If the other person isn't familiar with the concept, don't lecture. Just share your own briefly and let them respond in their own way. The goal is to open a door.

“The people worth your time will appreciate the question. And the ones who don't? That's useful information too.”