Etiquette expert explains why common 'sorry' text message is actually considered rude
An etiquette expert has revealed what you should say over text instead of pretending that you have 'just seen' somebody's message.
Life is busy and it's inevitable that you're not always going to be hot when it comes to replying to people via text.
While you might be tempted to say 'sorry, just seen this' to somebody you've failed to reply to in a timely manner, Laura Windsor, best known as the Queen of Etiquette, says you shouldn't as it comes across as rude – particularly when it's not true.
She explained to Mail Online: "If you have already seen it but not yet answered, just be courteous and say something like: 'I’m terribly sorry I did not reply before'.
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"And say what you need to say and perhaps add 'apologies again' at the end. Don’t make a habit of it – because then it looks as if you are taking the mickey!"
Laura went on: "What is the point of pretending that you haven’t seen a message? You overestimate what the recipient expects of you.
"The sender should realise that their text is not the only one you receive, that you have a busy life too and you will get to it as soon as you can."
Another no-no in Laura's eyes is saying 'we need to talk' to someone over text as it can sound 'ominous and deliberately manipulative'.
Instead, Laura suggested you use 'softeners'. She said: "Better to use the softeners here and modal verbs such as 'Would it be possible to meet today? I would be very grateful if you have some time to chat.'
"And always say thank you at the end of the message to acknowledge that their time is precious as well."
Elsewhere Laura said you shouldn't simply say 'condolences' to someone suffering a loss as it can sound 'callous' when sent on it's own.
"We tend to shorten our sentences in moments when just a little more warmth is needed, making our words seem stark, unempathetic and almost robotic," the expert explained.
"We forget that we are speaking to another human being, with feelings and emotions."
Of course etiquette is something to be considered outside of texting, and earlier this year William Hanson shared his thoughts on whether it's ruder to be early to a social meeting or late.
"Socially, if I said to someone come for dinner at 7.30, what I do not want is people to be early," he told LADBible Stories, adding: "I would much rather someone was half an hour late than five minutes early. I'm probably not ready at 7.25, but I will be ready from 7.30."
The same can't be said for a business meeting, however. In that instance, Hanson urged people to 'arrive a little bit early' so you're set to start the meeting at the time it starts.
Niamh Shackleton