Britt Jones
Everyone takes a number 2, but there’s no second way to wipe your bum.
Hopefully, there is no debate on this, but wiping your anus should be something you’re anal about.
Nobody wants to walk around the mall with a slippery ass, and thankfully (due to advancements in society) there are a lot of methods you can use to ensure that no poo is on your bum when you leave the restroom.
However, while you might think you’re doing it right, you could be wrong.
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Do you really want to risk that?
Of course not. You would be a fool to ignore the rest of this article, and a laughingstock if anyone ever realized that you wipe like an alien.
Anyway, there has finally been an answer on how you can wipe your bum the right way, and I’m really hoping that you’re aware of how to do this already.
When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.
According to a YouTube video posted by Manny Meachum, there are different ways that different cultures take care of themselves in that area.
First, you have the United Kingdom, who wipe (sloppily, apparently), Russia who allegedly use a pogo stick to insert and exit the anus with tissue attached to the stick handle of a plunger (cap or not?) and more.
While Ivan Pipenheimer showcased Russian’s technique, Neil DeAss Tyson showed how the US do it, which is to neatly fold tissue after each wipe, and then finish it off with a wet wipe for that slippery fresh feel.
Europe apparently uses a bidet to wash their bums, and this appears to be the clear winner.
However, if you’re not into using water, you need to know how to wipe properly.
As per Amber J. Tresca, a digestive health writer for VeryWell, there’s only one way that’s the right way.
Front to back.
Basically, after you poo, it’s time to wipe from front to back, which is ‘especially important for people with vaginas as it prevents feces from entering their urethra’.
If you don’t want a UTI ladies, don’t wipe back to front.
While penis-havers are less likely to get a UTI, wiping front to back will stop poo from lodging itself under the foreskin or on the tip of the penis.
So really, it’s just good practice to wipe the right way.
To do this, grab toilet paper, reach behind your back and between your legs and wipe in the direction of the back of the toilet.
Use as much tissue as you need, or wet wipes until you can no longer see poo on the paper.
But don’t scrub your bum, as this could cause microtears in the skin, causing bacteria to enter and causing an infection.
If you can’t reach around, then reach between your legs and continue to wipe front to back.
If it’s a messy job, then hopping in the shower is a great idea, but if you can’t, maybe arming yourself with a pack of wipes and spare underwear will do the trick.