Pamela Anderson has detailed 'trying to kill' her childhood babysitter after facing sexual abuse.
The Playboy icon's new Netflix documentary, Pamela, A Love Story, gives a candid look at the star's life behind the cameras and the adversity she's faced, from misogynistic media coverage to the infamous leaked sex tape with her ex-partner Tommy Lee.
What becomes evident throughout the film is that, behind it all, Pamela is a nurturing and romantic soul and her kind nature has been exploited in various ways over the years.
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She recalls having to 'relive' the trauma of having the sex tape stolen and leaked when Hulu recently made the incident its subject in the Pam & Tommy miniseries.
Pamela also bravely speaks out about the abuse she suffered as a child, telling the cameras: "I had some horrible things happen when I was little."
The Baywatch star goes on to describe a babysitter who won over her parents by 'bringing presents all the time'.
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"But she was molesting me," says Pamela. "It was three or four years of abuse. She always told me not to tell my parents."
She goes on to say that she 'tried to protect her brother' from the babysitter, before admitting that she 'tried to kill her' by attempting to 'stab her in the heart with a candy cane pen'.
"And then I told her I wanted her to die," she continues. "She died in a car accident the next day, so I thought I killed her with my magical mind and I couldn't tell anybody."
This understandably had a devastating impact on Pamela, who had to deal with all of those complicated emotions and survive the abuse as a young child.
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"I was sure that I did it. That I wished her dead and she died. I lived with that my whole really young life," she says.
"When those traumatic moments happen, I would just leave my body and float away, and I'd make my own little world."
Elsewhere in the documentary, Pamela addresses the issue of the stolen sex tape and speaks about the Pam & Tommy series.
"I blocked that stolen tape out of my life in order to survive," she explains.
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"Now that it’s all coming up again, I feel sick. I want to take control of the narrative for the first time. I didn’t feel like I had a lot of respect."
She later explains: "I had to make a career out of the pieces left. But I’m not the damsel in distress. I put myself in crazy situations and survived them."
At the end of the film, we see Pamela, now 55, taken back control of her life and utilising her talents as she ventures into the world of Broadway, debuting as Chicago's Roxie.
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Following her final performance, she tells the camera: "I know supposedly at this part of my life I should be settled in somewhere, but I don't know... maybe I'll know next week."
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article and wish to speak to someone in confidence, contact The Survivor’s Trust for free on 08088 010 818, or through their website thesurvivorstrust.org
Topics: Netflix, Documentaries, Celebrity