Chrissy Teigen says she 'let f**king beast alcohol back into her life' after two years sober in extremely honest post

Chrissy Teigen has admitted to drinking again after two years sober in a candid Instagram post.

The 39-year-old model and TV personality has been candid about her difficult relationship with alcohol.

The mom-of-four, who married singer John Legend in 2013, decided to go sober in 2021 and has gone on to celebrate milestones, including a whole year of abstinence in 2022.

However, Teigen took to social media this week ahead of the release of her 'Self-Conscious' podcast with guest, Holly Whitaker, stating she's been worried about its publication for her frank admission she had started drinking again.

Writing in a lengthy Instagram post with a photo of her clutching Whitaker's book, Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, Teigen wrote: "Oh man. I’ve been dreading today’s podcast release since the moment we shot it.

"And that has nothing to do with my incredible guest - @holly. Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the f***ing beast that is alcohol."

Teigen posted the admission while holding Whitaker's book (Instagram/chrissyteigen)

She went on: "But to have to admit to all of you: I let it back into my life. To let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply. I was so proud every time one of you told me on the street that Holly and I made you want to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am.

"The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing."

In her podcast episode with Whitaker, she clarified that she starting drinking again after two years sober, adding: "There was no big dramatic moment.

"It hasn't really been an issue in the way that it was before, but I know deep down it still feels wrong."

Talking about her rocky relationship with the booze in her Instagram post, she said she feels healthier and mentally better when sober, but she struggles to drink 'just one' without it turning into a binge.

Teigan, who shares children, Luna, nine, Miles, seven, Esti, two and Wren, one, with Legend, described how her relationship with alcohol can never be normal.

The star said: "I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I am one hundred percent p****d that I can’t be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into 8 and feeling like s**t.

"I’m tired of throwing up on a Tuesday. I don’t wanna feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd. I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days."

Teigen started her sobriety in 2021 (Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

The model added that her 'messing up' has 'changed' her 'for the better'.

"I am deeply aware of where this can go if I let it," Teigen penned.

As for the future, she has a plan - 'to continue to be mindful with it.'

"I can go to a concert sober and have the greatest time ever. I can avoid absinthe at the Ren Faire and be so abbbbsolutely full of joy. Photos of my kid’s birthday parties are no longer me with bleary, sleepy drinking eyes. And I am proud of that.

"But I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn’t normal and never will be. Thank you for allowing me to figure it out openly in front of you all.

"Anyhow. This is for all the people who are figuring it out. And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you. Until we meet again," she concluded, with a crying face emoji.

She came clean on her own podcast (Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images for Audible)

Dozens have since rallied around her in response, including Whitaker who wrote in the comments: "Woweeee. Real talk: I did not know you were going to go here; we had two hours of content and you didn’t have to have this conversation and you did and you are so f**king brave for doing it.

"I think you are going to free so many people by sharing that it’s hard and not a perfect process, and that the whole thing.

"I just: so much love and admiration to for doing this, you did not have to but you probably saved a lot of people through doing it. SO MUCH love and admiration."

Legend also chimed in the comments: "Always proud of you."