Warning: Article contains mentions of suicide
Madison Beer has opened up about her suicidal thoughts following her nudes being leaked online and being dropped from her music label.
The now 24-year-old detailed her suicidal thoughts in her memoir The Half of It, which is due to hit shelves next week on April 25.
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The harrowing moment she describes happened in 2015, when the 'Dangerous' singer-songwriter was only 16-years-old and events seemed to be spiralling out of her control as her nudes were leaked and her label dropped her.
She writes about the lack of emotion after climbing over the edge of her LA balcony and standing there with a 'million thoughts running through my head as I stared down at the ground, my eyes going in and out of focus'.
The excerpt, which has been shared exclusively with People, continues: "I don't think I would have jumped. It was more about knowing that I could—that I had a way out if it became too much.
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"Still, I lingered there for a long while, chilled by the fact that I wasn't all that scared of being up so high."
She also narrated her numbness during the aftermath of the incident and the reaction of her family, to whom she dedicates the book - as well as to her younger self.
"My little brother found me and screamed for my parents, and as I climbed back over, listening to them all freak out, I was only confused why they were making such a big deal out of it.
"The thought of killing myself was so normal to me at that point that I had forgotten it wasn't something everyone pondered on a daily basis."
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She spoke about the inspiration behind the book in an interview with People after announcing the book in February.
"I really wanted to write this book now because I thought sharing some of the ups and downs in my life might be able to help other people navigate and relate," she said.
She also hopes that sharing her story will help people think twice before they 'hit send' when being mean from 'behind a keyboard'.
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"I hope that we can find the strength to support each other and that we can work to treat others in the way we would want to be treated."
The Instagram countdown to launch day is officially underway, with Beer sharing three posts teasing its release.
The last is an image of her clutching the memoir to her chest captioned: "Less than two weeks. The Half Of It will be yours so so soon. My memoir, my story, my life and conversations I’m finally ready to have."
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Fans are getting excited as the book gets closer to hitting shelves, with one saying: "I love u so much, I can’t wait to read."
Another enthusiastic comment read: "You deserve this. You’re so strong and so so loving. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You saved my life and I hope this book will change lives. I love u and I’m insanely proud of you."
One simply said: "I am so excited for this masterpiece."
Beer's comments on the impact of trolls echo those of Ariana Grande last week when she spoke out on the impact of online body shaming last week.
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"I think we should be gentler and less comfortable commenting on people's bodies, no matter what," she said in a rare, to-camera TikTok video.
Topics: Celebrity, Mental Health, Books
Amelia Jones