Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image
Topics: Travel, Cruise ship, Sex and Relationships
William Morgan
Topics: Travel, Cruise ship, Sex and Relationships
Embarking upon a journey on the high seas with little more than your sunglasses and a towel is the perfect way to celebrate the human form for some, or a recipe for some rather unpleasant sun burns to others.
But nude cruises have become an increasingly popular option for adventurous holidaymakers, with thousands of people at a time sailing off into the sunset so they can strip off and enjoy the ship's buffet in the buff.
While some of us would not know where to look, for practiced nudists, these cruise ships full of like-minded people allow them to feel closer to the natural world without the prejudice and stares of those of us for whom a boat full of 2000 naked people would feel like a bad dream.
However, even though these cruises might seem like an 'anything goes' sort of atmosphere, there are actually a number of rules and guidelines that cruisegoers must follow, around clothing, sex, and what accessories they have to keep on them when strolling around without a stitch on.
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It's a nude cruise, so you just walk up the gangplank and strip all of your clothes off right? Well, it depends.
These adventures on the high seas are nudist-friendly, meaning that you don't always have to walk around in the nude if you would be more comfortable wearing some form of clothing.
But you've paid to go on a nude cruise, so unless you've booked the trip by mistake, you will probably be walking around naked as much as possible. According to advice from the American Association for Nude Recreation, the best guidance is to be 'clothed when practical, nude when appropriate'.
Though, if you aren't comfortable, you can ease yourself into walking around in your birthday suit by removing pieces of clothing gradually. No one will make you walk the plank for wearing a t-shirt.
Knowing what to pack for your trip where clothing is entirely optional is not easy, but as with any vacation, you should pack according to what your itinerary requires.
You may spend the vast majority of every day completely naked, but there will probably be a number of occasions where you will need to be clothed. Like excursions on land, or any formal dinners on the ship.
It is also wise to remember that many cruises will require you to put some clothes on when the ship docks, as they don't want you to accidentally give an eyeful to the non-nudists in the port.
But the two true essentials that you need to bring with you are a towel and some sunscreen. This is because the standard etiquette when sitting down in the nude is to put a towel down - and because no one wants to wake up sunburnt in the worst place possible.
It may not be immediately obvious where you should keep your essentials when you have no pockets, but experienced nudists will know that no clothes does not mean walking around with nothing whatsoever.
After all, you still need you key card to get into your room, as well as somewhere to carry your phone, sunscreen, money, and whatever else you might need while enjoying life au naturel.
So many nude cruise veterans will bring a fanny pack with them, or at least a lanyard, so they can keep their valuables safe, while displaying their family jewels to the world.
One of the common misconceptions about nude cruises held by the clothed world is that everyone is stripping off and taking a good look at everyone's private parts, but this is missing the point of nudism entirely.
People go on nude cruises so they can enjoy the sun and sea breeze on their skin without judgment, including from each other. After all, being a nudist is not the same as being a swinger.
But that being said, some cruise operators do offer a combined nudist-swinger experience, though this is less of an authentic experience as many people will be there for the latter experience, and otherwise walk around fully clothed.
Becoming aroused is a natural experience that can occur clothed or fully nude, however it's a much, erm, bigger problem when you don't have a stitch of clothing to cover the issue.
Despite naturism being all about body acceptance and being one with the natural world, male erections and sexual activity are not the point of getting naked. So all nude cruises issue advice to the men on board.
Firstly, if a cruisegoer finds themselves at half mast, the best thing to do is cover up the problem with a towel. But obviously, this does not solve the matter at hand.
A veteran nude cruise organizer has previously described a common technique told to men should they find themselves in this situation. "We say that if they start to feel things around moving down there, jump in cold water, or think about baseball," she explained.
However, this issue is largely just in the minds of people who aren't nudists, one cruisegoer has said. "This cruise is very non-sexual, so a man would want to hide it somehow. Non-nudists think about this a lot more than nudists do," a nudist said.