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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Food and Drink, News
Lucy Devine
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Food and Drink, News
A controversial dating trend called 'cookie jarring' has been leaving people heartbroken - and it sounds pretty brutal.
As if the world of dating was't complicated enough - what with all the different dating apps - there's also the numerous relationship trends to consider, such as 'micromancing' and 'floodlighting'.
The 'cookie jarring' dating trend can be hard to spot, but there are a number of signs to look out for if you suspect you could be a victim.
People on Reddit have labelled the trend 'gross' and having 'been going on since time began'.
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As for why it's been named after a delicious treat? Well, it's because when we're feeling down, a sweet treat can often be the perfect pick-me-up.
It turns out some daters are trying to do this with people. Let us explain.
'Cookie jarring' is a dating trend characterised by a person who dates multiple people at the same time, but only because they want to create back-up options in case their main relationship doesn't work out.
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The person might also 'dip into the cookie jar' if things aren't going well with their partner, or if they have an argument or disagreement.
A person who 'cookie jars' may also be afraid of commitment and reluctant to commit to one person.
Of course, for the partner on the receiving end of this behaviour, it's incredibly toxic and can cause issues with trust and self-confidence.
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Forbes explains there are a number of signs to look out for if you think you're being 'cookie jarred' - however, it can be notoriously hard to detect thanks to the culprits often being pretty skilled at concealing their behaviour.
One of the biggest signs is flimsy, non-committal behaviour that sees your partner refusing to make any solid plans or a commitment to a future with you.
This can also manifest into feeling as though you're the only one who makes any effort in the relationship.
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Trusting your gut instinct is also key. If your partner refuses to define the relationship and you generally feel uneasy about whether you can trust them on a day-to-day basis, it might be time to call it quits.
Over on Reddit, people have spoken about their experiences of being cookie-jarred, with many explaining they didn't realise it had happened to them until they heard about the trend.
One person wrote: "Dammit, I’ve been cookie jarred! I’ve called it being the backup girl. So incredibly selfish of people."
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Speaking to Metro, Happn dating expert Eugénie Legendre explained the trend can leave people feeling 'exhausted'.
"Cookie-jarring is an insecurity that stems from the desire to feel safe and wanted," they said.
"If you are seeing someone and want to make yourself feel a bit more secure, you soak up the attention from a potential love interest.
"This can be a problem long term as it can eventually affect all parties involved.
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"Maybe 'cookie jarrers' don’t realize what they are doing and aren’t able to identify their feelings, but when you are the one cookie jarred it’s exhausting to question the relationship status and wait for a clear answer from the other."
Legendre continued: "If you can’t get this answer and are obviously expecting a different type of relationship, then move forward.
"Do they blow hot and cold? Really keen one minute – disappearing the next.
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"After a few weeks you’ve raised where this is going and if they are seeing anyone else and despite 'conversations' you are still none the wiser as to whether this is exclusive."