Dating expert issues warning about 'submarining' trend as it becomes more popular
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Callum Jones
Featured Image Credit: Getty Images/Henrik Sorensen
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Dating experts have given the lowdown on the 'submarining' trend - and what to do if it happens to you.
The world of online dating is a bit of a minefield, on top of the usual dating apps such as Tinder and Hinge, you've also got to keep in mind dating trends.
While not a new trend, it seems to be becoming more prevalent as of late, with searches for 'submarining in dating' increasing by 350 percent in the US over the past year.
But what is it, and why do people do it?
Submarining is when somebody you're speaking to disappears without a trace, then resurfaces and pops back into your DMs like nothing has happened, without so much as an excuse or reason.
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The name is of course a nod to the fact that submarines disappear under the water and then re-emerge.
I mean, that's just cruel, right?
Speaking of the trend, Gigi Engle, a sex coach and author, told Men's Health: "They want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves. It’s pretty unlikely that it’s because this person actually cares about you.
"People may choose to resurface for a lot of reasons, but more often than not, it’s out of insecurity or boredom."
Jonathan Bennett, a dating coach and owner of The Popular Man, told Bustle: "I’d guess that, in most cases, they were dating or spending time with someone else and that fell through.
"Since they don’t want to admit the truth, whatever that is, they resort to submarining instead — and hope you fall for it."
As you'd probably expect, dating coaches and experts are unimpressed with the trend, slamming those who decide to embark on the cruel method in a relationship or even just during the talking stage.
While cruel, the trend will certainly allow you to make a quick decision on whether a potential partner actually likes you, as someone who really cares about you isn't going to resort to submarining.
Engle said: "You can respond however you see fit. If you really want to give this person another chance, that's up to you
"Just be aware that this is likely not going to end well for you. I would advise not getting involved again, as it's likely to wind up ending in disappointment again.
"If you're feeling gutsy, you can reply to their submarine text and tell them that this is a lame thing to do and if they wanted to chat with you, they shouldn't have been so rude to you."