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Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, World News, Community
Gerrard Kaonga
Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, World News, Community
An expert has offered key advice on how people can address a growing trend in relationships and why failing to do so could be more damaging.
Making relationships work in the best of times can be pretty difficult, people change, situations get complicated and feelings can disappear.
Whether in a long-term relationship or a marriage, there is a trend that an expert has warned about: quiet divorcing.
If you have heard of quiet-quitting, or quiet-vacationing, it is very much a similar phenomenon.
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Quiet divorce is explained as a partner quietly stepping back emotionally from a relationship.
Couples conflict expert Julian Bremner, at Rayden Solicitors, spoke to UNILAD about the phenomenon and issued a warning against adopting the trend, even if you are unhappy in your current relationship.
He explained that it is important to manage and address conflict and possible feelings of resentment in a marriage healthily rather than ignore them.
He said: “The key to managing conflict and resentment within a marriage is dialogue. Keeping open the channels of communication and trying to understand the other parties’ thoughts and feelings will go a long way to managing difficulties in the relationship.”
He went on to warn: “This is why ‘quiet quitting’ your marriage is not recommended, as hiding your feelings instead of communicating openly can leave your partner feeling betrayed.
“It is also important to acknowledge that, whilst you may not agree with your partners’ position, they may have a legitimate right to think and feel as they do and acknowledging that and trying to ‘walk in their shoes’ can only help.”
Bremner also emphasized it was important to have self awareness of the situation even if you are wanting to emotionally distance yourself from your partner. She pointed out that this was the benefit of yourself as well as your partner.
He continued: “The final piece of advice is having some self-awareness, and with that, some self-reflection. Resentments, worries and feelings of tension need to be examined carefully to ensure, for yourself, that these concerns and tensions are valid and are not being generated by an uncharitable part of you. This takes some maturity, but your partner deserves your mature self.”
The couple's expert also noted that there were some simple things that you can do to better your relationship if you feel the pair of you are drifting apart.
He highlighted that it was important to get out of typical routine, spend time together and remind each other what you love about each other.
He concluded by saying: “What is important is to have time for yourselves away from any children you may have. Pack them off to the grandparents or your sisters/brothers and spend time just together in doing your little tasks or enjoyments so that you have time for yourselves as adults and a couple rather than just as parents and carers.”