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Topics: TikTok, Sex and Relationships
Niamh Shackleton
The early dating stages are never easy to navigate, so a relationship expert has broken down three red flags you should be wary of.
No one wants to waste anyone else's time (and ideally you don't want your time wasted either), so if a person isn't right for you or their intentions are off, then you want to know when the right time is to exit.
There are so many different types of red flags to look out for and experts recently broke them down into a long list of 20 signs that they described as being a 'sneak preview to the plot', i.e. your future with the other person.
Now dating coach, podcaster, and content creator Sabrina Zohar has revealed three red flags to consider when in the early dating stages specifically (because it really is a minefield out there).
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"Here are three red flags I want you to look out for in the early stages of dating," she told her 1.6 million TikTok followers. "Remember, a red flag is a pattern of behavior. It doesn't mean you have to run for the f**king hills, but it's something to look out for so you don't waste anymore of your goddamn time."
Sabrina's first warning is about whether someone is inconsistent. By this, the expert doesn't mean that somebody texts you at different times of the day, but if a person is hot and cold with you.
"This isn't just going to magically get better," she warned of this red flag. "This person was chasing a feeling to begin with, and now that they know they have you, they're starting to play the f**king games."
Clinical psychologist and founder of The Relationship Space, Phoebe Rogers, echoes this, noting that 'inconsistency is one of the most telling signs that someone isn’t ready or capable of building a stable relationship'.
She added: "When someone is truly available, they show up willingly - emotionally, mentally, and physically. They don’t leave you questioning their feelings or intentions. And if there’s ever conflict or tension, they’re prepared to talk it through because both you and the relationship matter to them."
Warning: video contains strong language
A second red flag is deflection from them, for example, they may say that you're being 'too sensitive'.
Sabrina explained: "They do something to make it seem as if there's something wrong with you for wanting to have a conversation, instead of just saying 'hey, maybe it's too fast' or 'hey, I'm not feeling those feelings'."
Basically, if they refuse to have an open and honest conversation with you, then it's a big red flag.
Sabrina went on to say her last red flag 'is a biggie' - that being if they don't take any accountability as to why things didn't work out in their life.
"Conveniently it's always their ex was crazy or nobody was fair to them, but yet it's never about the way that they acted or the behavior they ensued," she explained.
Meanwhile, licensed marriage and family therapist, Jason Whiting, PhD, notes that 'couples who thrive discuss concerns and then try again'. Writing for Psychology Today, he explained: "When one says, 'It isn’t OK for you to talk to me that way', it's a chance to smooth out rough edges and get better.
"Each has different views and strengths, and these combine to make a partnership that is greater than the sum of the parts.
"If both are the same, then one is unnecessary. Partners who open up and share with each other grow into something better."
Enough said.