Couple who started a swingers club reveal controversial rule for 'ugly' members
In the world of swinging, rules are all-important for establishing boundaries - as applicants for one UK swingers club found out.
According to a study by the North American Swing Club Alliance, 15 percent of US couples have tried swinging at least once during their marriage.
Tanya Marum and Ashley Marum, both 32, started swinging back in 2019. They later appeared on Channel 4's Open House: The Greatest Sex Experiment, and went on to set up their own events company in which people apply online before the couple 'vet' whether they are attractive enough.
Tanya, from Leeds, in the UK, said: "I think it's strengthened our relationship emotionally and sexually.
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"We can talk to each other so freely, and we're so open about our own bodies as well. It's just improved everything."
'If it's something you want to explore, we can explore together'
She continued: "It wasn't something I ever actually thought about at all. We were on a night out, and a friend asked if we wanted a threesome, and I said no because she was a friend, but it sparked a discussion, and it spiralled from there.
"The original attraction was to explore being bisexual and look for women originally. Ash said 'if it's something you want to explore, we can explore together and see'.
"We played with girls for a long time, but eventually started playing with couples because it's a predominantly couple-based scene."
The couple have set up events for other like-minded young people in the community, and have had to set ground rules for people they see as 'unattractive'.
Ashley said: "When we found it hard to consistently meet people that are our age or that we like, we messaged people on a website and we said 'why don't we all meet in town for a drink'.
"We liked it so much that we said 'let's do it again next month'.
"Now we have events with 300 plus people going, and we make people apply on the website so we know what they look like."
He continued: "I don't want people there who the majority would think are unattractive.
"We want to try to get people to come who might not be your type, but they're nice-looking and take care of themselves.
"It's the most expensive hobby ever, but we get free tickets to everywhere anytime we want. It's made it a lot cheaper to go out."
'There's 100 percent trust'
The pair believe swinging has strengthened their relationship, too, with Ashley adding: "Our trust has increased by swinging. Every couple we know that does it feels exactly the same.
"There's 100 percent trust, and you understand what each other likes more than anything and you want each other to be as happy as possible.
"You don't get that very often in a normal relationship.
"I'm honest and open with everything, so if something's not right, I say it straight away.
"Tanya is exactly the same, so because we're honest with each other all the time it's made it so much easier."
Topics: Sex and Relationships, UK News, Community
Lucy Devine