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Topics: Money, Parenting, Sex and Relationships, Weddings
Poppy Bilderbeck
Topics: Money, Parenting, Sex and Relationships, Weddings
A dad has sparked heated conversation online after telling his son he's 'spoiled' for saying his $5,000 contribution 'wasn't going to be enough'.
Nothing comes cheap these days - we are in a cost of living crisis after all - and weddings in particular are rarely a cheap affair.
While one couple weren't exactly splashing $156 billion and hosting the likes of Kim K when planning a ceremony to proclaim their love, a dad has spoken out about his son's plans and his offer of a $5k donation not being 'enough'. Although, the situation's not quite as straight forward as it first seems.
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A 57-year-old dad - under the username u/throwR-7746 - took to Reddit thread r/AmItheAsshole to explain his 23-year-old son is engaged to a woman named Peggy, aged 22 and has been 'for five months or so'.
His post continues: "Our culture dictates that Peggy’s father and I share the costs for their wedding. He (her father) said we should provide $10k each, a total $20k budget."
While the dad notes he 'could afford this,' he explains the figure 'seems insane and extravagant' so he offered to 'give $5k and [Peggy's dad] could give whatever he wanted' - Peggy's dad later also putting up $5k.
The dad states: "I told my son this and he told me outright it wasn’t going to be enough."
However, this is where things get more complicated.
The dad argued his own wedding 'only came out to be around $7k' after 'haggling' and making some 'deals,' but his son pointed out that wedding 'was 40 years ago and prices were different' going on to note 'the cheapest venue he could find was $5k and food alone was going to be $2.5k'.
The son emphasised 'again' he 'didn't mind' and 'thanked' his dad for the money, but the dad was left feeling 'hurt' that his son 'thought [he was] not giving enough,' suggesting they change their food plans and offer 'pizzas or sub sandwiches' instead.
When his son 'looked at [him] like [he] was crazy,' he suggested offering less to a photographer or decorator, but was told 'that isn't how things are done'.
The dad resolved: "I said it is how things are done, and maybe if Peggy and him weren’t so spoiled and expecting the best of the best for everything then $10k would be plenty."
The son reacted to being branded 'spoiled' by 'closing his eyes' and thanking his father again, before 'basically [telling him] to get out'.
"I was complaining about this instance to my wife and she told me I was being a stick in the mud and it’s his only wedding. My friends agree with me though. AITA?"
And it's not taken long for people to weigh in, most resolving the dad is, in fact, the a**hole.
U/allaboutbird wrote: "Yes, YTA. He thanked you for the money and is planning on paying for the rest. How they spend their money isn't your business. Can you seriously not envision that prices have increased over several decades?"
"YTA. $7,000 in 1983 is about $24.5k now, so by your logic you should be giving him $12k, not $5k or $10k.
"Obviously you aren't obligated to give him any money, but he kindly accepted the $5k you offered and you had no place to then berate him about how he was overspending, and you have no reason to "feel hurt" over this," u/poeadam wrote.
U/Special_Respond7372 resolved: "YTA. An average wedding these days is about $25k, depending on where you live. Your son and future DIL aren’t spoiled; they handled this gracefully by making it clear they don’t mind paying for some of the wedding themselves and thanking you multiple times for contributing. You calling them spoiled was out of line and you should apologize."
So, what do you think?