'I was born a psychopath but wouldn’t change a thing' - Man, 25, opens up on life with ASPD
A diagnosed psychopath has opened up about living with the condition he was born with, and how he would 'never' change even if he could.
Loic De Marie, from Belgium, was formally diagnosed as a psychopath at the age of 23. While in the US psychopathy isn't recognized as an official, standalone clinical diagnosis, Loic was diagnosed with psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and impulsivity with narcissistic tendencies in his home country.
There is strong evidence that alongside environmental factors, psychopathy is genetic, with Psychology Today outlining how studies have shown that it has a number of links to heritable traits.
Loic, now 25, says he was born with his condition; something he's delved into for LADbible's Minutes With series.
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Though his childhood was 'really nice', he recalls how following his parent's divorce, his mom turned to drinking and tried to take her own life when he was just eight.
"At the age I think of eight, she tried to kill herself," Loic says. "So in my adolescence, my mom was drinking from maybe my eight years to 16 years. And she was aggressive, she was absent sometimes and it got an impact on me.
"She was saying to me that I'm not her son anymore. And she was this kind of mean. This is the kind of thing that with psychopathy, it changes you. With psychopathy, you are born that way, but it doesn't help this kind of behaviour from a mother or a father."
The first time it was noticed that Loic was different
Loic says his mom first noticed something was different with him when, at the age of six, he nearly let his younger sister drown in a pool over concerns of his clothes getting wet.
"She fell into the swimming pool... and I didn't jump into the pool. You know why? Because at the time, the only thing that matters to me was my clothes," he recalls.
"My mom came out of the house and she's yelling, screaming that why I didn't jump into the pool. And I answered, 'Mom, my clothes are clean'.
"And she was like, 'What the f**k is wrong with this kid?' That was the first time my mum understood that I was different."
'Impossible to form social connections and bonds'
After seeing a psychologist shortly after this incident, Loic began to learn how to 'mask', a strategy to conceal his true feelings and emotions in order to fit in.
He admits it's impossible to connect to others and make social bonds, but because he considers himself 'charming', he's able to have friends and relationships.
"So in the past, I was very charming with a big smile, very empathetic in appearance, very manipulative," he admits. "And I think that was dangerous for me and for others."
An example of this was when Loic decided to sleep with his friend's ex.
"I had a best friend, yeah, but one day I had a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and I know now that it is not correct to do that," he recalls. "But at the time, I was not feeling bad, because I was like, I just want something and I get what I want."
'I'm a good person because I'm honest'
Despite his condition, Loic doesn't consider himself to be a bad person, and even says he wouldn't change anything about his personality if he could.
"I think I'm a good person because I'm honest, I'm doing good things without hurting anybody else," he says. "So the question is, of course, there is always a dark side, and I think nobody can be a total good person."
'I don't regret anything'
When asked if he'd change himself, he says: "Never, because I believe that sometimes emotions is a weakness, sometimes.
"I had a beautiful life, even in the past, I don't regret anything. And if I could change, people very often ask me this question, even in interviews, and I always respond, never."
He admits he can't feel emotions such as love, fear and stress, though he does experience short bursts of anger.
"I'm gonna be very angry. But just for a short moment, and after that, I'm calm again, and people are like, 'What the f**k just happened?'" he explains.
Not feeling fear can be dangerous, which is something Loic has thankfully realised over the years.
Watch Loic's full Minutes With episode below:
'Feeling alive can give place to death if you play that game too long'
"In the past, I was putting myself into danger in sexual relationships because I never had protection, or I was driving pretty fast on the highway with some medication or some alcohol," he says.
"And for me, that was just funny. You are in your brand new BMW, you know, and you are at 200 kilometres on the highway, and you get this feeling of feeling powerful, you feel alive.
"But I learned that feeling alive can give place to death if you play that game too long."
Topics: Mental Health, Features
Emily Puckering