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Topics: Parenting, Mental Health, News, Psychology
Niamh Shackleton
Topics: Parenting, Mental Health, News, Psychology
Being close with your parents can be a good thing, but there comes a point when it can negatively affect a child.
It's not uncommon to see close bonds played out on screen, typically mother-daughter relationships. From Gilmore Girls and Ginny & Georgia, to Mamma Mia! and Never Have I Ever, it's a popular topic often depicted in the media.
But is there a point where you can rely too heavily on your kids? Definitely.
This is something known as 'parentification'.
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Psychology Today defines this as 'when a child is forced to take on the role of a supportive adult within their family'.
Examples of this include asking a child to look after their younger siblings or to referee arguments between parents.
"The phenomenon occurs on a spectrum, and it can lead to significant short-term and long-term challenges," Psychology Today adds.
Clinical psychologist Dr Robyn Koslowitz explained to SELF: "It’s not just sharing clothes, matching outfits, or going out for mani-pedis together. It’s when the kid starts serving the needs of the adult."
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In extreme cases a child might end up running the household because their parent is physically or emotionally unavailable.
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Psychologist Kate Eshleman also warned of how difficult it can be for a child to go through this.
"Overall, parentification can be difficult for the child. It doesn’t always allow kids to go through developmental phases if they’re having to provide either logistical, tangible or emotional support to a parent or to others," she told Cleveland Clinic.
Eshleman went on: "If a child is having to take care of things within the home, then they’re not spending time with friends. They may not be focused on their studies. They may not be doing the things that are typical and expected for their age."
Per Pyschology Today, emotional parentification is when a parent leans on their kid for support and they end up being the parents’ counselor, confidant, or emotional caretaker.
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Instrumental parentification is when a child takes on roles like doing housework, caring for younger siblings, and other adult responsibilities.
Children who are experiencing either of these may get physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping and lack of appetite because it's affecting their emotional health, says Eshleman.