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Topics: Parenting, Psychology, Life
Niamh Shackleton
A child psychologist has urged parents not to say this two-word phrase.
People are always sharing their parenting tips and tricks, and an age-old topic is whether to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real or not.
Some experts have argued that parents should tell their children that Father Christmas is real, and not ruin the festive illusion.
"We shouldn’t be honest about Santa - at least not at first," argued Tom Whyman, a lecturer in philosophy at the University of Liverpool in the UK.
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Going on to question what Christmas would be like for kids without the idea of Santa, Whyman continued: "Without the Santa myth, what would Christmas for the average child even be?
"An arbitrary date when they are finally allowed to play with presents their parents maybe bought months in advance - what would be the point?"
While Whyman says we shouldn't be crushing children's Santa Claus beliefs, child psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy has shared a phrase that parents 'should never' say to their kids.
Speaking on The Tim Ferriss Show, she urged parents not to say 'good job' to their children.
There were several different reasons why Dr Kennedy thinks it's not a great thing to say, one being that it might stop children from validating themselves and they'll begin to rely on others for it.
"I think about the yearning, the searching, and the desperation for 'good job'," she said.
"Every time my kid produces something, again, what they want to wire next to that is someone telling then 'good job'. Then the go into the world unable to give themselves that type of validation and search for someone to say they're good enough."
Instead of 'good job', Dr Kennedy advises parents to say 'anything that will help your kid share more about themself'.
The psychologist proceeded to give an example of when her daughter gave her a painting and, instead of applauding her on it, Dr Kennedy asked her about it.
"She told me this whole story about how she hasn't ever really seen a red police car," she said of her daughter's response.
"Whatever it was, she shared her story with me."
Dr Kennedy went on to say that she understands that some parents may find her advice on 'good job' annoying, but further pointed out that the phrase is a 'conversation ender'.
She added that we should be 'doubling down on building our kid’s confidence'.