• News
  • Film and TV
  • Music
  • Tech
  • Features
  • Celebrity
  • Politics
  • Weird
  • Community
  • Advertise
  • Terms
  • Privacy & Cookies
  • LADbible Group
  • LADbible
  • SPORTbible
  • GAMINGbible
  • Tyla
  • UNILAD Tech
  • FOODbible
  • License Our Content
  • About Us & Contact
  • Jobs
  • Latest
  • Topics A-Z
  • Authors
Facebook
Instagram
X
Threads
TikTok
YouTube
Submit Your Content
Expert says parents 'should never' give this specific two-word compliment to their children

Home> Community

Published 16:06 1 Feb 2025 GMT

Expert says parents 'should never' give this specific two-word compliment to their children

The seemingly harmless phrase isn't a good one to use, according to a child psychologist

Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton

A child psychologist has urged parents not to say this two-word phrase.

People are always sharing their parenting tips and tricks, and an age-old topic is whether to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real or not.

Some experts have argued that parents should tell their children that Father Christmas is real, and not ruin the festive illusion.

Advert

"We shouldn’t be honest about Santa - at least not at first," argued Tom Whyman, a lecturer in philosophy at the University of Liverpool in the UK.

Going on to question what Christmas would be like for kids without the idea of Santa, Whyman continued: "Without the Santa myth, what would Christmas for the average child even be?

"An arbitrary date when they are finally allowed to play with presents their parents maybe bought months in advance - what would be the point?"

Advert

While Whyman says we shouldn't be crushing children's Santa Claus beliefs, child psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy has shared a phrase that parents 'should never' say to their kids.

Dr Becky Kennedy shared her thoughts on the phrase (YouTube/@timferriss)
Dr Becky Kennedy shared her thoughts on the phrase (YouTube/@timferriss)

Speaking on The Tim Ferriss Show, she urged parents not to say 'good job' to their children.

There were several different reasons why Dr Kennedy thinks it's not a great thing to say, one being that it might stop children from validating themselves and they'll begin to rely on others for it.

Advert

"I think about the yearning, the searching, and the desperation for 'good job'," she said.

"Every time my kid produces something, again, what they want to wire next to that is someone telling then 'good job'. Then the go into the world unable to give themselves that type of validation and search for someone to say they're good enough."

Instead of 'good job', Dr Kennedy advises parents to say 'anything that will help your kid share more about themself'.

The psychologist proceeded to give an example of when her daughter gave her a painting and, instead of applauding her on it, Dr Kennedy asked her about it.

Advert

"She told me this whole story about how she hasn't ever really seen a red police car," she said of her daughter's response.

"Whatever it was, she shared her story with me."

Dr Kennedy went on to say that she understands that some parents may find her advice on 'good job' annoying, but further pointed out that the phrase is a 'conversation ender'.

She added that we should be 'doubling down on building our kid’s confidence'.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

Topics: Parenting, Psychology, Life

Niamh Shackleton
Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton is an experienced journalist for UNILAD, specialising in topics including mental health and showbiz, as well as anything Henry Cavill and cat related. She has previously worked for OK! Magazine, Caters and Kennedy.

X

@niamhshackleton

Advert

Advert

Advert

Choose your content:

6 days ago
7 days ago
8 days ago
  • SWNS
    6 days ago

    Couple have 'no regrets' over giving up home to buy shipping container that's 'saved them $400,000'

    Miriam and Eric Guiterrez are now in the process of renovating their tiny home

    Community
  • kmills_19/Instagram
    7 days ago

    Hundreds of students line up to say goodbye to cheerleader on life-support after being shot at party

    An honor walk was held for the 18-year-old high school senior

    Community
  • KEZI 9 NEWS
    7 days ago

    Reporter taunted by 6-7 meme live on air speaks out after clip goes viral

    Olivia Cleary was forced to try and ignore the fans as she covered a football game between Oregon State University and Lafayette University

    Community
  • Seyms/Getty Images
    8 days ago

    What TikTok’s viral ‘lion’ meme really means and what it says about ‘anxious’ Gen Z

    The ironic meme has fueled more than 26 million TikTok posts

    Community
  • Psychologist breaks down key differences between oldest and youngest children and lists four things parents 'should do' for their kids
  • Psychologists issue stark warning on why you should never be 'best friends' with your parents
  • Study uncovers potentially deadly risk found in children of divorced parents
  • Expert warns of the five surprising things you should never say in a job interview