'Ben stage' is the new dating trend that people are being warned can ‘ruin’ your life
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok, Viral
Emily Brown
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok, Viral
If you're dating someone named Ben, be warned - you might be part of a trend.
Obviously, every relationship is different, and not every Ben will be part of the 'Ben stage'. But the fact the trend has gone viral online indicates that there's a whole lot of Bens out there who are.
So, this is the big question.
The 'Ben Stage' is a trend that's been brought to light on TikTok, after an ever-increasing number of users revealed they'd fallen victim to it after, quite simply, dating a guy called Ben.
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And we're not talking about one specific 'Ben' here - just any guy named Ben.
Now, Bens are the ultimate bad guy online as thousands of videos of emerged on TikTok of people talking about their own ‘Ben’.
"My Ben stage put me in therapy," one person candidly wrote, as another added: "The Ben stage is real."
"My Ben stage ruined me," wrote a third.
I definitely don't want to come across as suggesting that all Bens are bad guys, because that's not the case. It's just that sometimes relationships don't work out, and there are a lot of Bens out there who have been part of such an outcome.
Tyla spoke to one woman, named Maisie, who shed more light on her own 'Ben Stage'.
She explained: "We were in college, first year. He was in my English Lit class and I thought he was super cute and cool because he went to all the gigs and he was the indie boy that all the indie girls liked."
Maisie and Ben went to a party that ended up as its own 'Project X', and after getting kicked out they found themselves in McDonalds.
"Me and Ben went for a short walk and then he gave me a kiss," Maisie continued. "We kissed and went back inside and he NEVER spoke to me again - ever."
Despite seemingly being ghosted that night, Maisie was surprised when Ben invited her to a gig the following day - only to 'basically run away from [her] every time [she] looked in his direction'.
When they finally spoke, he 'corrected [her] on an Arctic Monkeys lyric'.
Ouch.
Maise said: "Then we literally never spoke ever again. I learned never to be 16 again."
As it turns out, no.
Dating coach Hayley Quinn explained: "We all know what the 'Ben stage' is and now finally it has a name. The 'Ben stage' is all about being stuck dating one unsuitable, and unavailable guy after another.
Hayley explained that the stage usually comes during 'a time in your life where you've identified that you want commitment, but every experience you have winds up in the same way'.
In order to get out of this cycle of non-commitment, Hayley advised starting to 'advocating for yourself in your relationships'.
She explained: "If a guy says he's not looking for commitment (and you are) take him at his word and get out of there."