Warning issued for cruel new dating trend 'banksying' that could be worse than 'ghosting'
Topics: Sex and Relationships, News
Niamh Shackleton
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image
Topics: Sex and Relationships, News
If you thought ghosting was bad, then you'll want to brace yourself for 'banksying'.
Anyone who is single will tell you how rough the dating game is. Whether you've been out of the game for six months or six years, things are ever-changing and new 'trends' are cropping up everywhere.
One apparent trend has been dubbed 'relationship anarchy', and it's supposedly popular with Gen Zers in particular.
What the heck is relationship anarchy, I hear you ask?
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It's 'the practice of doing away with some (and sometimes all) of the traditional sociocultural "rules" or formalities usually applied to romantic relationships', as per Feeld.
Now, just as you wrap your head around that trend, there is another one you should make yourself aware of — 'banksying'.
In simple terms, this refers to the trend of someone withdrawing from a relationship without informing their significant other. Then, when it comes to the breakup itself, the person who had already checked out of the relationship feels prepared for it, while the other person is left blindsided.
Further explaining what exactly banksying is, Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, told USA Today: "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person, who ends up being in total shock.
"It’s selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance."
Chan went on to reveal how someone who is practising banksying might act.
"They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," she shared. "They might lie and say everything is ‘fine’ but you also have to exert that you’re not ‘fine’ because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance."
Chan went on to urge daters: "Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking it’s OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they’re saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that’s completely the opposite."
Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at Seeking.com, also weighed in on the apparent trend and said that it's 'something that we have all experienced at one point or another', but there hasn't been a specific term to define it in the past.
She said: "Previously, there hasn’t been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.
"Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it."