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Topics: Sex and Relationships, News
Niamh Shackleton
Have you ever wondered if you're good in bed or not? Well, apparently there are some signs that could prove if you are (or aren't).
In the UK, a whopping one in five people say that they're unsatisfied in their sex lives, according to data put together by Superdrug Online Doctor.
Meanwhile, one in seven people don't feel comfortable expressing their sexual needs.
Across the pond in the States it was found that only 38 percent of Americans were satisfied with their sex lives, per a study conducted by the American Sexual Health Association.
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So, what's going wrong in our sex lives? Well, a multitude of things, apparently.
From communication issues and struggling to stay in the moment, to your partner avoiding initiating sex and skipping foreplay, there's a few reasons why you and/or your partner might be "bad" in bed.
You've probably heard the phrase 'you do you', but that definitely doesn't apply when it comes to sex.
Sex should be about both parties having fun and reaching climax, not jus one person getting what they needed and returning to business as usual.
Sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice, speaking on behalf of Superdrug Online Doctor, told the Metro that selfish lovers are typically people without a lack of empathy or struggle to read their partner's cues.
To fix this, Gemma suggested that you paying closer attention to their facial expressions, sounds and breathing as this will 'give you a better indication as to what they like when they are touched'.
While this is like a cardinal sin to some, it's the norm for other couples — but experts say it shouldn't be.
Couples counsellor and Lovehoney sexpert Annabelle Knight, who has previously spoken to UNILAD about the age-old question of if size really matters, said it's important to remember that most women 'need consistent clitoral stimulation and plenty of build-up to feel satisfied'.
If you were wondering how long foreplay should last, it has previously been suggested that 15-20 minutes should do the trick.
Meanwhile, Gemma pointed out that foreplay isn't just the immediate build up before sex, but it 'begins the second you finish your last sex session' through things like flirting and teasing.
Apparently this is a common one for people: that being staying present while being intimate with someone.
With this in mind, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey warned that 'great sex requires all parties to be present, connected and focused on each other and what they are doing'.
To fix this, she says you should focus your attention on a sensation such as sight or sound, then returning to that one point of attention to get you back into the sex every time you lose focus.
If your partner isn't the type of person to initiate sex, it could be time to talk to them, says Annabelle. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're bad at sex, but that something isn't quite right.
"Have a gentle conversation," she said. "Try something new. Switch up the routine. Toys, lube or outfits can help spice things up, if you haven’t already tried them. Shared enthusiasm is the sexiest ingredient."