What being abrosexual means as woman claims she lost friendship over coming out
Topics: Sex and Relationships, LGBTQ
William Morgan
Featured Image Credit: Getty Images/Elizaveta Starkova
Topics: Sex and Relationships, LGBTQ
An abrosexual woman said her friend told her that her sexuality 'doesn't sound real' when she came out to her.
While most of us are aware of what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual, newer terms such as nebulasexual and graysexual are less well known.
Coming out always requires a tremendous amount of courage, and it's even harder if people don't actually understand your sexuality.
Abrosexual Emma Flint told Metro that telling a friend about her sexual identity had prompted a hostile response.
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They replied to them over text: "When did you decide this? Is this even a label – I’ve never heard of it. I support you, obviously, but this doesn’t sound real."
She said the 'dismissiveness' of this response led to her ending the friendship. Flint explained: "Here I was, sharing my identity with someone I trusted, only for them to scoff at my words."
Abrosexual is term popularized by Tumblr in 2015 as an identity for people whose experience of their sexuality can fluctuate, with some feeling straight one day and then bisexual the next.
An abrosexual person can identify as any sexuality on a given day, with their attraction to a gender, or multiple genders, changing over time.
They might express their lesbian identity one day, and then be bisexual the next.
The 'abro' part of the term comes from ancient Greek and means 'graceful' or 'delicate', indicating the subtle ways that abrosexuals can experience sexual desire.
It also has its own pride flag, which you can see below:
One anonymous abrosexual person, quoted by Gay Times, wrote: "For me, sometimes I feel asexual/demisexual, other times heterosexual, other times very bisexual, and other times extremely gay.
"Relationship-wise it means I’m not always attracted to my partner, but I still feel romantic or at least very warm best friend feelings.
“Certain circumstances can trigger back certain attractions sometimes, but mostly it’s unpredictable. It’s not like that for all abrosexuals though! Everyone’s experiences are unique."
Flint often says they often have to explain their abrosexuality over and over again.
"When I tell people that I’m abrosexual, I’m often greeted by a blank expression, followed by a question of what the term means," Flint added.
"And questions are fine, as long as they’re respectful. I’m not expecting everyone to know what it means – hell, I didn’t until two years ago – but you should always listen with respect."
With this in mind, expert Douglas Haldeman, PhD, who is chair of the doctoral program in clinical psychology at John F. Kennedy University in Pleasant Hill, California, has shared some advice for how to come out as abrosexual.
He told WebMD: "Explain to them - to the best of your ability and in plain language - how you are defining yourself now.
“It may look something like, ‘You knew me as gay, and now I just have something to add to that.’”