Doctor who treats men with premature ejaculation reveals how long sex should really last
A top doctor had revealed how long sex ‘actually’ Lasts, and it’s much shorter than you might think
Speaking to the Daily Mail, Dr Philippa Kaye shared everything you need to know about the surprisingly common condition, yet one that is rarely talked about.
According to Dr Kaye, premature ejaculation affects between 20 and 30 per cent of men at some point in their lives, making it one of the most common male sexual difficulties.
However, she explained that getting accurate figures isn’t easy.
Advert
“Shame and stigma mean people don’t talk about anything sexual,” Dr Kaye said. “That’s why premature ejaculation has historically received far less attention than erectile dysfunction, despite being just as common and often just as distressing for both the person experiencing it and their partner.”
How long does sex last on average?
One of the biggest myths Dr Kaye wanted to bust is the idea of how long sex is ‘supposed’ to last.
She explained: “Studies suggest the average time to ejaculation during penetrative sex is around five and a half minutes.
“That’s it. Despite what Hollywood, pornography, social media, or the banter of friends in a bar might suggest, there is no Olympic standard for bedroom endurance.”
Dr Kaye added that feeling like you’ve finished “too quickly” can mean very different things to different couples. For some, it may be a matter of a few minutes, while for others it could happen before penetration even begins.
Crucially, she reassured readers that occasional early ejaculation is extremely common and usually nothing to worry about.
Clinically, premature ejaculation is typically defined by three factors:
* It happens consistently within about a minute
* It causes distress or relationship difficulties
* It leads to avoidance of intimacy
What are the two different types of premature ejaculation?
Dr Kaye also explained that there are two main types of the condition.
Lifelong premature ejaculation is usually present from someone’s earliest sexual experiences and tends to stay consistent over time. This can be linked to nerve sensitivity or early conditioning.
“If someone learned to rush when they were younger, for example, out of fear of being caught, the body can become trained to move quickly,” she explained.
Strict attitudes towards sex or certain beliefs around intimacy can also play a role.
The second type, acquired premature ejaculation, develops later in life after a period of previously typical sexual function. This is often linked to other issues, including erectile dysfunction, prostate problems or mental health difficulties.
Dr Kaye said the connection between erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation is particularly important.
“Anxiety about losing an erection can create a sense of urgency, a ‘hurry before it disappears’ panic,” she explained. “Treat the erection problem and the ejaculation often resolves itself.”
Ultimately, Dr Kaye stressed that premature ejaculation is rarely just a physical issue.
“It’s tangled up with anxiety, self‑esteem, relationship dynamics and sometimes other health conditions,” she said.
“But in most cases, it’s very treatable. The hardest part is often finding the courage to start the conversation.”
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Science, Health, Mental Health
Thomas Bamford