A former sex addict has revealed why she stopped her celibacy after meeting her now-husband, who had never had sex.
Emily Robbie found herself engaging in casual sex after her first relationship ended when she was 21. However, she would find herself being 'ghosted' by the guys afterwards, or they 'wouldn't commit', an experience which she says left her 'drained' and 'empty'.
“I felt I was addicted to sex. It was casual and always this high. I was a sexual person,” the 31-year-old from Los Angeles said. "I felt really empty. I loved having sex. I was filling a void."
After eight months of being in three casual relationships, Emily began her 'long healing journey' after becoming more acquainted with her church and religion, leading to her decision to abstain from sex entirely.
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"I gave myself to God," she said. "I had abused this privilege of sex."
She added: "When I became celibate, I really started to restructure my mind about sex. I started a long healing journey.
"I believe when you have sex with someone, you connect intimately and get tied. I had to untie myself."
By the time she met Tyler Stone in September 2020, she'd done a lot of healing, and it was love at first sight.
"We had instant chemistry," she said. "You know if you're sexually compatible with someone. You don't have to have sex with them now. There's desire and attraction.
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"I said I'm waiting until marriage - what do you think? He said same and was a virgin. I thought, 'really, he's really attractive?'"
She and Tyler dated for a year and a half before tying the knot in 2023.
Emily said they were 'connected on such a deep level', adding: "We definitely struggled at times but we waited. People said when you get married it's not different. We wanted it to be making things different."
And they are glad they decided to hold off until their wedding night, as they got to 'figure' things out together.
"I felt he was more experienced than I was. He was helping me though it." she said. "It's a place of safety. If we'd have sex before marriage, it would have felt dysregulated."
Tyler, who'd also come from a Christian background, said that he'd been tempted to have sex a few times, but ultimately decided to wait.
“I wanted to wait until I was in a safe place. I didn’t want to do that with anyone but my wife. She [Emily] re-waited,” he said. “It was hard for her to re-wait. Sex is the biggest bonus, but not the reason why I’m with her.
"Sex is the biggest bonus but not the reason why I'm with her."
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Religion
Ben Williams